


The Business of Tomorrow

by FluffAndTea



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Armitage Hux Has Feelings, Armitage Hux Needs A Hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Forgiveness, Hurt/Comfort, Kylo Ren is an asshole, Millicent the Cat is a surprisingly good wingman, Not Canon Compliant - Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Redemption, The First Order Sucks, no beta we die like men, people who drive each other up the wall to friends to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:35:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 33,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24096661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FluffAndTea/pseuds/FluffAndTea
Summary: General (retired, sort of, it's complicated,shut up) Armitage Hux is really, really not a fan of the woman who rescued him after he got shot. She's infuriatingly optimistic and way too friendly with Millicent, his cat. Too bad he has to rely on her and the kindness of strangers to survive.
Relationships: Armitage Hux & Original Character(s), Armitage Hux/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 54
Kudos: 63





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok listen, I’m a brand new Star Wars fan and I probably get a lot of stuff wrong just because I don’t know everything there is to know about this vast and fantastic world yet. Still, this “what if that blaster shot hadn’t killed him in TROS and he actually got out” wanted to be written. I hope I can put a smile on your face with this little story. If I do, please let me know.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apparently, after surviving comes living.

[ ](https://ibb.co/q5Hj8x4)

There’s a planet in an otherwise unremarkable part of the galaxy where people go when they seek forgiveness. They say you will find mercy and peace of mind there.

If you’re truly sorry.  
If you’re ready to face the consequences of your actions.  
If you’re willing to take a long hard uncomfortable look at yourself and your life.

General (retired, sort of, it’s complicated, _shut up_ ) Armitage Hux is none of these things. And he really, really doesn’t want to be here.

But this terrible woman just _had_ to put in the coordinates to here after she had dragged him to one of the escape pods. And then she had had the nerve to pretend it hadn’t been on purpose. He makes a mental note to hate her as soon as his chest and leg stop hurting so damn much. Right now, the bright burning pain is about all he can concentrate on. That, and the fact that he actually escaped.

That hadn’t been part of the plan – if he’s honest, the plan had always kind of stopped after the “piss off Kylo Ren and make sure he doesn’t win” bit. Hux’ sense of self-preservation is pretty well developed, after all, he made it to fucking _General_ within the First Order at a relatively young age. But outside of that tight and neat structure? He had never thought about it. Which is why he’s a bit lost at what to do now. Surviving this whole thing was a nice side effect, yes, but he’s a bit unprepared. Because apparently, after surviving comes living. Who would have thought.

“Why do escape pods always crash? Have you ever heard – ouch – about one just landing softly on a patch of grass near a top notch medical facility? Major design flaw if you ask me.”

Gods, she’s infuriating. Hux doesn’t even know her name (not that he had bothered to ask, maybe she's told him, he can’t remember). All he knows is that she’s with the Resistance and she had been his first contact when he had decided that “spy” was a good career move. Their latest contact had been when he had discovered that she was on the goddamn Steadfast. The freighter that was supposed to pick her up and bring her back to her homeworld had been delayed, and that’s how she had been there when he had been shot by Pryde and thrown into a prison cell.

He doesn’t remember much of the escape, only that she had actually bothered to pick up his cat (who is complaining loudly in her transport box right now) before busting him out of his cell when the guards were away for a while. The rest is a blur of pain, frantic running/falling, losing consciousness, getting yelled at by her for losing consciousness, and punching in the launch code for the pod because she didn’t know it. For a Resistance fighter, she’s remarkably incompetent. Or maybe she’s just _Resistance adjacent_ , someone who wants to help a little but was never fully immersed in all the fighting. She doesn’t seem like the fighting type. He’s never even seen her hold a weapon, and she gets out of breath running too easily. Not that he’s in better shape right now.

“Where are we”, he croaks out, and hates himself for how weak it sounds. _You used to command armies, man, get a hold of yourself._ But he’s sure some ribs are broken and there might be some internal bleeding. She doesn’t look much better, a deep cut on her forehead and a black eye from where a Stormtrooper had hit her before Hux could shoot him.

“Galinia II”, she answers, while Millicent complains loudly, “it’s the only coordinates I could remember in the middle of it all.” Then she reaches behind her and unlocks the box containing Millicent, who promptly darts out of the broken escape pod and sits in front of it, looking at Hux as if all of this is his fault. (Which it is, of course.)

“The only coordinates you could….” Hux groans as fresh pain radiates up from his ribcage. “Are you always this useless?”

“The words you’re looking for are ‘thank’ and ‘you’”, she spits back and scrambles past him out of the pod. Millicent makes that little “brrrt” sound all cats make to greet their favorite humans and snakes around the woman’s legs. _Traitorous animal._

Hux isn’t sure how the escape pod was able to cover the distance between the Steadfast’s last position and here. But what he does know is that Galinia II is one of the worst planets to be stranded on. It is, as the name suggests, the second planet in a system. A system where the First Order had never bothered to set foot because it’s so utterly uninteresting. It has no resources to speak of, no capital, no shipyard, no fucking _government_ , and its only exports are books and a reputation for being very lovely and welcoming.

Hux hates it already.

The woman, on the other hand, seems a bit more optimistic. She digs around for the bag of supplies that every escape pod has on board and then extends a hand to Hux. “Come on, we need to make ourselves known. Someone must have seen us crash.”

“We didn’t crash.” Somehow the suggestion that any First Order technology might be less than perfect still hurts his pride.  
“Okay, fine, a very rapid semi-controlled descent, followed by a sudden stop. Happy? We need medical attention. Can you walk?”

“Of course I can walk”, he huffs, and pulls himself up, biting back the yelp of pain that almost escapes him.

“Hmmm”, she not-really-agrees and helps him stand. Millicent seems to think this is an excellent adventure and starts walking away from the wreckage, tail high.

They don’t cover a lot of ground in the next hour. The forest surrounding them refuses to show any sign of civilization or even a footpath. Eventually it opens up into a vast meadow, but still no buildings or technology. Walking is exhausting, even more so because Hux is now leaning heavily on the woman while the pain in his abdomen getting worse by the minute. He’s no stranger to pain, but this worries him. It should be fading or at least staying the same, not increasing.

“Stop”, he commands, and to his surprise she doesn’t protest. They’re both breathing heavily now. Hux steals a glance at her while he lowers himself onto a fallen tree to sit. She looks terrible, pale and out of breath, her hair sticking to her sweaty forehead. Dragging a man almost a foot taller than her through a forest after crashing– _landing_ on a planet is exhausting in any situation, but he gets the feeling her injuries are worse than just a cut and a bruise. A concussion, maybe? Before he can ask her if she’s alright, a noise startles them both. Something – someone – is coming through the underbrush on the other side of the meadow, and they don’t care if anyone can hear them. In fact, they’re talking loudly and… singing?

By instinct, Hux reaches for his blaster, which of course isn’t there. The woman does no such thing, she just stands a little taller and searches the treeline with her eyes. Terrible Resistance fighter indeed. It’s as if she has no survival instincts whatsoever. Then she starts to smile, and Hux follows her line of sight to a nearby bush where two men emerge. They are unarmed except for what seem to be walking sticks, and are dressed in bright colorful clothing that makes them look like flowers in the meadow. Bearded, six foot tall, singing flowers.

Then they spot Hux and the woman and start running towards them. Hux looks around, frantically searching for some kind of weapon, but it’s too late. Then one of the men grabs the woman – no, is he hugging her? - and starts to laugh. The other one beams at Hux, occasionally glancing over to his companion. “Sovi! What a wonderful surprise!” booms the guy who keeps hugging the woman. She's still not trying to defend herself. Hux has no idea if Sovi is her name, a term of endearment or just some random word in their language, and he sure as hell doesn’t want to ask. The less involved he becomes in this mess, the better. Then panic wells up in him as he remembers he's still in his uniform. At least there are no visible First Order insignia left anywhere on it. He can only hope that this planet is backwards enough to not immediately recognize him.

“Okay, ouch, careful, I’ve had a rough day”, she finally gasps while the guy lets her down gently and then holds her an arm’s length away, studying her face carefully. “Yes, indeed”, he agrees and then his gaze settles on Hux, who is thoroughly and increasingly uncomfortable. He hates not being in the loop, and these men obviously know the woman. That might be good or bad. “Who’s your friend?”

“He’s not my friend.”  
“I’m not her friend.”

They say it at the same time, and Hux shoots her an angry look, which she answers with a grimace. The men exchange amused glances.

“Okay then, who’s your not-friend?”

It’s times like these Hux wishes he had the Force so he could reach into her mind and will her to shut the hell up and not tell them anything. He knows what it feels like, how physically and mentally painful it actually is to be manipulated like that, but if she gives them his name he’s as good as dead. Loving, welcoming planet or not, he’s the person responsible for quite a lot of deaths in the galaxy, and that news must have traveled even here.

To his great surprise, she just smiles. “Long story, Bal Karimm.”  
Bal Karimm grins. “I love long stories. Tell us all over dinner.”

_Oh no._

Before Hux can protest, they are ushered towards the other edge of the meadow where a small transporter is hidden in the bushes. From there, it’s a short, thankfully smooth ride to a settlement. Hux learns that Sovi is indeed the woman’s name. (Not that he asks, but they keep referring to her by it, and it’s always good to gather more information) The other man’s name is Ardeth Karimm and they know the woman because a) she spends time on this planet regularly and b) she officiated their wedding a while back.

Yes, definitely not a Resistance fighter. Can’t fire a blaster to save her life, but can marry people. Alright then.

They are greeted by even more people, all dressed as colorful as the two men. There’s a short discussion and then they’re led into a bigger building. Hux is too exhausted to protest or be on guard any longer, and to his great relief it seems to be some sort of hospital, because people start shouting words that sound vaguely familiar and very, very welcome, such as _injury analysis unit_ and _pain killers_. Something is pressed into his arm, and there’s a small sting, and then everything is very warm and soft and pain free, and Hux likes that a lot. The last thing he sees is Millicent who has managed to follow them onto the transporter and into the facility and is now settling in between his legs. Someone has put a blanket over him.

 _Her name is Sovi_ , he thinks before he slips into a much needed sleep, _what a ridiculous name._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux gets some rest, Sovi is still ridiculous, and Millicent has separation anxiety.

He’s so used to being jolted awake by alarms that he eventually does jolt awake from the sheer absence of any alarms. It takes him a while to remember where he is. Galinia II. Planet of the colorful bearded men who know the useless Resistance adjacent escape pod pilot named… Sovi? Sovi. And who apparently have no idea who _he_ is. He falls back into the pillows (pillows, plural, clean and soft) with a groan. _What a day._ Or night? It’s dark outside, as far as he can make out through the window of the room he’s in. 

Carefully, he gets up. There’s no pain anywhere in his body, and someone has dressed his wounds and managed to get him out of his jacket, but thankfully left him his shirt and trousers. His boots are sitting on the floor next to the closet in the corner. He catches a glimpse of his reflection in the window and quickly looks away. He’s not ready to look at a less than perfectly dressed and groomed Hux. 

So instead, he takes a look at his surroundings. The room doesn’t look like a hospital room. In fact, it looks more like he crashed in someone’s spare bedroom. The walls appear to be made out of clay, painted in a pale yellow. The bed is pretty big, taking up most of the space, and there are some pieces of what Hux assumes is artwork on shelves. A few plants, seemingly deliberately chosen and aesthetically arranged, complete the very tasteful ensemble. There’s a small table in the corner with a chair, a bookshelf, and a big wooden chest at the foot of the bed which upon further inspection contains even more blankets and pillows. The light is coming from a lamp on a bedside table and a skylight which shows the stars over Galinia II. It’s all very calming, serene and relaxing, and it’s driving Hux _crazy_. 

He’s not supposed to be here. He’s supposed to be dead, or in a cell, or, best case scenario, far, far away from the reach of the First Order. Maybe at some dingy bar with questionable characters who don’t ask his name and where he doesn’t need to talk to anyone. Not here, where it’s only a matter of time until they find out who he is and either execute him on the spot or make a big show of a trial first. Not that he doesn’t deserve it. But he isn’t suicidal. 

It hits him that he’s never planned for any of this. Even if it all had worked out, what then? Be on the run forever? Hide in another galaxy until nobody remembers him anymore? 

“Oh hey, you’re up.”

He whips around and once again curses the fact that he doesn’t have anything with which to defend himself. But then he recognizes the voice and the woman – Sovi. She looks like she’s been sleeping too, her hair an even bigger mess than before, but now cleaner and without the blood on her forehead. Even the bruise around her eye has faded. 

“You look like shit”, she grins and leans against the doorframe. Hux glares daggers at her, but he has a feeling that in his current state, he’s not very intimidating. 

“Well, you’re not exactly a sight for sore eyes either”, he shoots back, but she barely even flinches. Instead, she shrugs and just walks into the room. She’s wearing what probably passes as pyjamas around here, soft long-legged trousers and a long-sleeved shirt in an off-white color with little ornaments stitched around the sleeves. Hux has no idea why the hell he’s paying attention to these things. Probably because his mind is trying to make sense of all of this and is clinging to the small details. 

“They pumped us full of painkillers and tissue-repairing nanobots and gave us rooms in the guest quarters. We have a bathroom, too. Oh, and the bath has access to a hot spring! You can swim from inside to the outside area and let me tell you, it is a-ma-zing.” She emphasizes every syllable and beams at him as if she’s a tourist guide trying to sell him something. How can a person be so annoying?

A hot bath sounds like the best thing ever right now, but Hux will be damned to admit it to her. So he just scoffs and turns around, pretending to be very interested in the books on the shelf. Sovi takes the opportunity to sit cross-legged on the bed. _Get off my bed_ he wants to snarl at her. But it’s not his bed, is it? He’s a … what is he, exactly? A guest? A prisoner?

“Is there a reason you’re bothering me in the middle of the night?” he then asks, not looking at her while he studies the titles of the books, not reading any of the words.

“Couldn’t sleep”, she says and shrugs when he eventually looks back at her.  
“And how is that my problem?”  
“I never said it was. I just wanted to see if you’re still alive.”  
“Why?”

Hux is surprised by how confused he sounds. That wasn’t the sharp comeback he’d intended.

“Because you were badly injured, way worse than me, and your cat has been crying in front of your door all night while you were out like a light. And then she discovered that I’m a pretty good pillow too, and did you know she likes to dig her claws into people’s legs when she likes someone? Anyway, if I’m to adopt her I wanted to make sure I know her name first.”

“You are not adopting her”, he hisses, and she has the audacity to grin, lifting her hands in mock defense.

“Alright alright, not adopting her. Copy that.” Then she nods to him. “How’s the leg and chest?”

It’s actually pretty difficult to give a straight answer to something you’ve never been asked before. The First Order has excellent medical equipment, but they don’t really _care_. You get injured in battle (or thrown across the room by an angry Kylo Ren), you go in for treatment, the med droids to their thing, you go back on duty. If your injuries are too severe, you just die. But nobody _cares_. 

It’s why it takes him a while to answer. He tries to feel around mentally, to dig for any pains or aches, but they’re all gone. Whatever they did, they are professionals. 

“I can’t complain”, he finally says, stiffly.  
“Damn, you’re totally in tune with your body and soul, aren’t you”, Sovi says with just a hint of sarcasm.  
It makes him want to strangle her. 

“Is there anything else?”  
It sounds way more exasperated than Hux is comfortable to admit, but he’s tired and he just wants her to _leave_.  
Sovi shakes her head and gets up from the bed.  
“Nah. But leave the door open so the cat can find you, okay? I like her, but apparently she gets really nervous when she can’t see you.” 

And with that, she’s gone. Millicent wanders in shortly after, purring softly, and promptly flops down in the middle of the bed. Hux briefly thinks about using the hot spring bathtub after all, but he’s just too tired. And drowning because he fell asleep in the water would be a really embarassing death after everything that happened today. So he climbs under the covers next to Millicent who opens one eye to shoot him a _look_ and then goes back to sleep. He’s fast asleep in a matter of minutes. The door stays open. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Hux wears something other than black (gasp) and there is shouting in sacred spaces

When he wakes up the next morning, the sun is already pretty high in the sky. Someone has put down fresh clothes (dark blues and greens, thank the stars, nothing too outrageous) in front of his door, and it’s not like Hux can’t take a hint. And yes, the hot spring bathtub is as amazing as advertised. The only thing he can’t do is shave, but it’s not like he’ll grow a beard worthy of the Karimms in a day. Feeling refreshed, he goes in search of breakfast. Millicent seems to be content and happy, which means somebody has been feeding her – otherwise she would have had quite bit to say by now. 

Sovi is nowhere to be seen, but Hux finds some sort of communal outdoor kitchen where an older woman waves him over and puts a bowl of hot porridge with blueberries in his hands. Apparently word of their arrival has traveled fast, because everyone he meets asks how he’s doing, if he’s healing alright, if there’s anything he needs. It’s unnerving. Don’t they know who he is? When will they arrest him? Is this a trap? It has to be a trap, because the porridge tastes amazing, the blueberries are fresh and sweet, and everyone is so goddamn friendly and welcoming. This is not normal. Then again, Hux’ definition of “normal” might be a bit wonky in the first place. 

He eventually flees to the outer edges of the settlement, where a small hill overlooks the forest. The climb up is short, and when he makes it to the top, he stops to take in the sight. The top of the hill is flat, as if generations of people had used it as a gathering place. Standing stones sit in a spiral pattern that leads to a rock in the middle where people have put flowers, coins, little trinkets and scraps of paper, perhaps containing wishes or messages. Colorful flags adorn the trees, and he can see the remnants of campfires in pits dug a safe distance from them. There are some plaques in the grass, some with flowers planted around them. Hux bends down to read some of them, but they all seem to display the words “Thank You” in various languages. Strange. 

Still, the view from up here is not too shabby. The forest stretches like a green lake in all directions, occasionally interrupted by small meadows and winding rivers. He can make out some bigger structures in the distance, more settlements, but nothing that indicates any sort of technology that would allow a bigger ship to land or interstellar communication to exist. 

Which means he’s trapped here. 

_Fuck._

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”  
“No”, he growls, more as a reflex than an actual answer. Sovi grins and stands next to him. Did she follow him up here, or did he just not notice her?  
“Come on, you’ve seen worse.”

Hux doesn’t answer and stares straight ahead until she actually nudges him with her shoulder which earns her a glare. If someone would take the time to write an intergalactic encyclopedia of things, her picture would certainly be found in the “annoying” section. 

“Feeling better?” she asks and sits down on a nearby bench (which is, of course, beautifully constructed and adorned with intricate carvings). 

He does feel better, and he suddenly feels incredibly childish for not wanting to admit it. Something inside him crumbles just a bit, and he sighs before looking at her.

“Yes. Thank you. You know, for…” He gestures back to the settlement and then to the forest, unsure what he means himself. Sovi smiles, the first genuine smile that isn’t a smirk or a grin.  
“You’re welcome, General.”

He winces at the title. It feels wrong somehow. Sovi seems to notice and tilts her head slightly, the universal sign for “elaborate”. Hux doesn’t want to elaborate. So he just crosses his arms, turns back to the view (he really has seen worse, much worse) and changes the subject.

“When can I leave?”  
“Leave?”  
“Yes, you know, get away from here. They’ll be looking for me right now, it’s only a matter of time until they trace the pod back here.”  
“Oh.”  
Sovi sounds like she really hadn’t thought about that until now. Hux is pretty sure he’s never met anyone who, despite working for the Rebels, is this naive and unprepared for anything. _How are you still alive, woman?_

“Well, uh, we don’t really have a big transportation hub here. Most people who come here arrive with freighters or little shuttles and they stay for a while until they get picked up on the return routes.”

Hux feels his stomach drop. “What do you mean, stay for a while? How long? How often do the freighter routes cross here?”

She’s chewing her lip now, and Hux wants to grab her and shake her, even though the answer is already dawning on him. “Well, we’re not exactly sitting in the middle of traffic here.” She has the decency to look a bit sheepish, and Hux rubs a hand over his face. This is bad. Really bad. 

“How long, Sovi?”

She picks at her sleeve before answering. “Not before the harvest festival.”  
“Which is – when?”  
“Three months from now.”  
_“Three months?!”_  
“Yes, three months. Stop shouting at me, dammit, this is a sacred place!”

They’re just glaring at each other now until Sovi rolls her eyes and gets up from the bench. 

“Look, I’m sorry you’re stranded here, I really am. But nobody means you any harm here. You’ve got food, you’ve got shelter – my friends have already offered their guest room – and you’re welcome to stay as long as you need. And if the First Order really shows up here, we’ll think of something.”

“Like what, will you hug them to death and throw flowers at them until they surrender?” He’s being unfair and ungrateful now, but he can’t help it. 

“Wow.” Sovi crosses her arms in front of her chest. “Are you always such a jerk?”

Hux snorts. “Have you met me?”

“I don’t know, have _you_ met you? Because that should be on your agenda really soon.”

He blinks, confused, but before he can think of a clever comeback she has turned around and is walking down the hill, stomping her feet just a little more than necessary.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is one room, but two beds, and a conversation about genocide.

Apparently she's not too mad at him because when Hux returns to the settlement, Bal Karimm is there to more or less drag him to his new quarters. _Not getting kicked out then_. The bedroom he was staying in is connected to the medical facility and meant for people who are still recuperating from illness or injury, Bal tells him. Which is why Hux is now standing in the Karimms' house, staring at his new surroundings. 

It looks like a paint shop and an antique shop met and then exploded. Almost every wall has a different color, every surface is either wood or a mosaic. The carefully arranged potted plants in the medical guest quarters have nothing on the jungle that’s going on in the Karimms' living room. Huge plants - some of them palm trees, by the look of it - are growing directly out of the earth all along the windows, ranking over endless bookshelves, growing out of what appears to be a teapot filled with soil. A lot of the furniture seems to be self built or from reclaimed materials. There are pictures upon pictures on the walls, mostly groups of smiling and laughing people, a wedding holograph, and one of a chicken wearing a sweater. Hux decides not to ask any questions about that one. 

They are greeted by Bal’s husband who is soon cooing over Millicent. The cat has no problem walzing into the house as if it’s hers. (She does that with every living space, she would have done it to the brigde of the Steadfast if Hux had let her.) Ardeth is wearing small flowers in his beard which makes Bal grin like the lovesick idiot that he is. It makes Hux blink in confusion. He’s not used to this much color, this much _life_. And all of it is fairly chaotic and not orderly at all. It’s a bit exhausting, if he’s honest. 

“Come on, let me show you the guest room. It’s, er, more quiet in there.” Ardeth seems to sense Hux’ unease and gestures toward the back of the house. When he opens the door, Hux realizes what he means and breathes a sigh of relief. 

The walls are white, there is a reasonable amount of plants, and the beds – two of them – actually look inviting and not like they have been put together from six different types of wood. Millicent wastes no time and jumps on the bed near the window. Then Hux remembers something and turns around to Ardeth.

“How much do I owe you? I don’t really have access to my credits at the moment.”

Ardeth blinks and then shakes his head.

“You’re a guest. Guests don’t pay. You don’t owe us anything, don’t worry about it.”

He pats Hux’ shoulder and then leaves the room. Hux looks after him, frowning. _You have no idea how much I really should pay_ , he thinks and then shakes the thought as quickly as he can. Going down that path of thinking leads to nothing good. He’s avoided it so far, and he intends to keep it that way. 

It’s not like he has any possessions apart from what he had been carrying on his person when they crashed ( _landed_ , he corrects himself), so settling in doesn’t take a lot of time. He’s a bit unsure what to do with himself when the bedroom door opens again. Sovi walks in without a word, throws her small bag onto the other bed, and pets Millicent on the head. Hux is an intelligent man, but it takes him a few seconds to realize what she’s doing and why she’s here. 

_Oh._

_Oh no._

“You cannot be serious”, he groans while Sovi sits down next to Millicent who has rolled onto her back and demands belly rubs.  
“I’m afraid so”, Sovi shrugs and continues to dote on the cat who is having the time of her life.  
“They only have the one guest room, are you kidding me?”  
“I know, what a cliché, right?” 

Sovi sounds thoroughly amused, and Hux is getting more annoyed by the minute. But he’ll be damned if he leaves or asks around for another place to sleep. He’s in enough debt already, no need to extend that to other villagers. And he’s not too keen on camping outside either. 

“If you snore, I will shoot you”, he threatens, which is met with a stare from Sovi.  
“Likewise.”  
“Please. You have never fired a weapon in your life.”  
“My aim with pillows is pretty good.”  
Hux throws his hands up in exasperation and turns around. “I’m going for a walk.”  
“Dinner’s at sundown!” she calls after him, and he can hear the smile in her voice. 

Damn her. And damn that cat. 

Later that night, Hux has to admit that dinner is actually delicious and Ardeth is indeed the best cook in the galaxy. He’s had his fair share of good meals, not on a regular basis because the First Order aren’t exactly about the gourmet lifestyle, but he knows quality when he comes across it. The stew is a perfect blend of spices and flavors and leaves him feeling pleasantly full and nourished. It doesn’t help his growing unease with the situation, however, which is why he asks Sovi to step outside with him after dinner. 

The sun is setting, and the trees in the courtyard are swaying in a light breeze. It smells like something fruity, and Hux can hear small animals rustling around in the leaves above them. 

“I need to talk to you”, he starts, and thankfully she hears the urgency in his voice, because she doesn’t ask any unnecessary questions and lets him talk. Hux takes a deep breath.

“I know you said there isn’t any possibility of catching a ride in the near future, but I need to find a way to get off this planet. I have a huge target painted on my back, not just by the First Order. If they don’t find me, others will. And the people here aren’t stupid, word will get around. I shouldn’t be here. They shouldn’t help me, you shouldn’t help me. You’ve done more than enough.”

Sovi shakes her head. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I’m not some nice house guest whom everybody is happy to meet. You know what I’ve done and where I’m coming from, Sovi. The others will find out, even if you don’t tell them, and then--”

“They know”, she interrupts him, and Hux can feel his blood turn to ice.  
“What?”  
“They know. They all know. They’re not stupid as you said, they’re actually pretty good at looking right through all the bullshit. Hux, they’ve known since we’ve arrived at the hospital.”

 _Fuck._

“Then why am I still alive?”

_Because they’re not waiting until the harvest festival, idiot, they’re waiting until the First Order gets here and then they get a front row seat. When you were unconscious, they were signalling to everyone who would listen. Every single person here probably knows someone who died because you blew up five planets. They will cheer when they finally kill you._

He feels numb and cold as Sovi gently guides him to a bench under one of the trees and pushes him to sit down. 

“Have you forgotten where you are?” Her voice is soft. His head snaps up and his eyes meet hers. “The people who have chosen to settle here – and they are all here by choice – haven’t done so lightly. It takes a special kind of person to live here. They get travelers from all over the galaxy, some come with a clear intent, others don’t really know what they’re looking for until they find it here. They are here to help them heal, and I’m not talking about tissue-repairing nanobots. Some stay until the next ship route crosses, some stay for years, some for a lifetime. But they’re here because they get no judgement here, just kindness and a chance to make amends.”

Hux makes a strangled noise, something that was supposed to be a laugh but lacks any humor. “I think genocide is a bit above these people’s paygrade”, he then adds bitterly. Sovi doesn’t even blink.  
“Oh, you’d be surprised.”  
“You want me to believe that anyone can come here and get what – forgiveness, redemption, mercy – regardless of what they’ve done? Don’t be ridiculous.”

But she is, isn’t she. A ridiculous woman with ridiculous ideas who shouldn’t even be alive in this dangerous, dark galaxy because the only weapon she owns is the ability to drive him up the wall. And right now she’s just sitting there, letting him rant, pretending he is not one of the worst people this side of the universe. 

“We’ve all done things we regret”, she finally says.  
“Really? What have you done? Forgotten someone’s birthday?” His voice is dripping with sarcasm now. 

That at least gets a reaction from her. She narrows her eyes and pokes him in the shoulder.

“I know what you’re doing.”  
“Really.”  
“Yes.”  
“What am I doing, Sovi?”  
“You’re stalling, General.”

He looks at her, confused. “Excuse me?”

Sovi gets up and stands before him, for once looking down instead of up at him. He can barely see her eyes in the dimming light of the day, but he knows she means business by the way her body language has changed from casual to serious. 

“You know you have to do the work if you ever want to feel something again. Something else than this – shut up, I’m talking! It’s not about pretending none of it ever happened. It did, and a lot of people are suffering, including you. And that’s what you don’t get. You can never undo it and you can never bring a single person back, but you can try and repair what’s left to repair. Because if you don’t, it won’t matter if the First Order find you tomorrow or in ten years, you will be miserable every single day. And I know that sounds comfortable and familiar because it’s probably the only way you know how to exist, but there is another way. And I think you know that. So please, ask yourself: do you really want to live like this?”

Hux blinks a couple of times, searching for an answer. The silence hangs heavy in the courtyard, and he doesn’t know what to do with everything she's just dumped on him. The easiest thing would be to give her a harsh answer, to make her go away and maybe slam a few doors. But he’s tired, so very tired. Tired of navigating his way through this mess, tired of this ridiculous woman who doesn’t seem to _get it_ , tired of every kindness and act of generosity and warmth that was shown to him today. He doesn’t deserve any of it, and he will never allow himself to believe he might deserve it one day. 

Sovi gives him a small, sad smile, and touches his arm. “You are exactly where you’re supposed to be. You’re welcome here. Whether you believe it or not.” Then she turns around and goes back inside. 

He doesn’t notice it, but the thing inside him that had begun to crumble up on the hill that morning crumbles just a bit more. 

That night, the nightmares start.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hux. Bed. Please?" (Also, there is chocolate. Finally.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to Wookiepedia for saving my absolute newbie ass time and again. I still get a lot of stuff wrong, but writing this is so much fun, I can’t possibly wait until I’m an expert! Forgive me, haha. I hope to be able to update more often than just on the weekends.
> 
> This chapter comes with a warning for graphic imagery (nothing bloody, just blowing up some planets, as you do) and violence because Kylo Ren is a dick.

He’s standing on a balcony, overlooking the town. The night air is soft and fragrant, and the first light is creeping over the horizon. Is it dawn already? Hux isn’t sure what time it is, but something tells him it’s way too early to be dawn. Still, the birds start singing, sounding almost sleepy, as if they agree that the time is not quite right. Down below, a surprising number of people are up and about, walking around the town square. A confused murmur arises, most of the pedestrians stopping to take a curious look at the sky. And then the dawn that isn’t a dawn, never was, grows brighter and redder and the birds stop singing. A wind is picking up, and then the energy beam from Starkiller Base pierces the planet’s atmosphere with a roar that drowns out the screams of the people. The shockwave destroys houses, trees, and people before the beam even hits solid matter. 

He should be dead, but somehow he’s seeing rapid flashes of different scenes. A mother throwing her body over her toddler in a futile attempt to save the child before getting vaporized. Trees flattened, first in one direction, then the other, only to go up in flames a millisecond later. A swarm of birds rising into the burning atmosphere before vanishing into atoms. A small red-haired boy screaming for his parents while clutching a stuffed animal to his chest, his clothes already smoldering. Sovi, suddenly next to him on the balcony, her mouth opened in a scream that never comes before a chasm opens beneath them as the planet breaks apart. Above all, a thundering roar so loud that Hux thinks his eardrums might burst and--

Silence. Darkness. 

A small sob, almost a wail, from far away. A child crying. 

It’s cold and dark, he can hear water dripping and the frantic beating of his own heart. 

“Mama!” 

It’s a heartbreaking sound, and Hux doesn’t want to walk any further into the dark because he knows that the person the child is crying for is not coming. A stuffed animal – a cat – is lying on the ground, dirty and missing a paw. The sobbing is less frequent now, and soon he can hear only little hiccups. The child has given up. 

Bright, white walls, a dark smooth floor. The hum of machines, powerful engines many decks below. 

A woman staggering backwards, gasping for breath, an unseen Force crushing her windpipe, tears at the corners of her eyes.

_Tell me where he is._

She’s silent. Her hands come up to her collar as if that’s the thing choking her. She’s starting to panic now, trying to pull away hands from her throat that aren’t there, when she suddenly is released. She falls, hitting the floor hard, and draws a shuddering breath.

_You will tell me where he is. I don’t know why you think you can resist. You can’t. You won’t._

It’s not a command, more like a statement of fact, and Hux knows that voice. He’s heard it in his own head before. And suddenly he realizes that the woman is Sovi, has been Sovi the whole time. He’s watching from far away, and yet he can see every detail of the scene, the dirt on her clothes, the bruise on her face. 

“I told him not to tell me where he's going”, she gasps, and somehow despite all this horror, she manages a grin. “You can’t get out of me what I don’t know. Sorry, Ren. But I can make something up if you like?”

Hux wants to scream at her to shut up, _shut the hell up_ and maybe save herself, but it’s too late. Kylo Ren flicks his wrist, and she is thrown through the air, hitting one of the support beams on the far side of the room with a sickening sound. Then that same Force picks her up and throws her again, and again, and Hux can hear bones breaking and Sovi screaming--

\---and then it’s his own scream, just one, and he’s sitting in his bed, panting, and Millicent is hissing at him, her fur standing in all directions. Slowly, one by one, other sounds and sensations trickle back into his consiousness. Night. Soft light from a small lamp. Himself, shaking, his hair a mess. Millicent, growling and jumping off the bed. A hand between his shoulderblades, rubbing small circles. 

_It’s okay. It’s okay.  
You’re safe.  
You’re here._

Those words, spoken by someone, not in his mind, but by an actual living human, next to him. Sovi. His eyes meet hers, and he sees concern and a lot of questions which he isn’t ready to answer.

“I need to--” he starts and detangles himself from the sheets. Suddenly, he can’t get up fast enough. 

He’s out the door before Sovi can say anything. Outside, it’s still night, dawn (or something far more terrible) won’t be here for a few more hours. Hux draws a deep breath, willing himself to calm down. He staggers through the vegetable garden and to the edge of the Karimms’ property. There is an ancient stone wall, half collapsed and taken over by vines, just low enough to comfortably sit on. Hux lowers himself on the ruined wall, still trying to slow his breathing. He realizes he’s shaking. He hasn’t had a nightmare in years, and never one so vivid. The cool night air helps ground him in reality, even though a small panicked part of his mind is still expecting the sky to rip apart with red light at any second.

A small “mrrrow?” makes him look up. Millicent is standing in the vegetable garden, tilting her head and looking at him as if to ask if he’s alright. She makes her way over to him, rubbing against his leg and purring. He absentmindedly runs a hand through her fur and then stays there, his elbows on his knees, just staring at the grass between his feet. 

After a while, he hears someone walking across the grass, but he doesn’t need to look up to know it’s Sovi. She has a blanket wrapped around her, and she’s barefoot. Without a word, she sits down next to him. Hux is thankful she doesn’t ask him anything, because now he would have a thousand answers, each one more horrible than the next. So they sit in silence, the sounds of the night around them. 

Sovi shifts and lifts her arm from beneath the blanket. Her hand slips under Hux’ right arm and her fingers find his hand, squeezing gently. He lets out a shuddering breath and doesn’t move, doesn’t dare to move. What if he wakes up, yet again, but alone this time? Back on the Steadfast, in a cell or even in his quarters, back in command? He’s not sure which would be worse.

“Hey.” She squeezes his hand again as if she’s read his thoughts. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“You were dead. Everyone was dead.” It takes him a few tries to actually get the words out. Then he pulls away from Sovi and buries his face in his hands. His cheeks are wet, and there’s an ache in his chest that has nothing to do with the long healed blaster wound. After a moment, he can feel Sovi putting her arm around his shoulders, her hand once again rubbing small circles on his arm. 

“You’re not getting rid of me that easily”, she whispers against his temple before kissing his hair. Then she pulls him into a hug.

Armitage Hux doesn’t do hugs. Except right now, he does. Whatever has held him up until now is almost fully broken, and the ache in his chest makes him want to sob as he pulls Sovi closer. Still, shame keeps him from bursting into tears, and so he just buries his face in her hair and stays silent. Maybe, this moment here in the garden at night doesn’t count. It’s separate from all the other moments so that he doesn’t have to think about it too much. And Sovi doesn’t strike him as the kind of person who will taunt him with his weakness in the morning.

A few minutes pass and then Hux hears a rustling sound as Sovi digs around the blanket with one hand, searching for something. Finally, she puts a small square wrapped in paper into his hand.

“Here. Eat this.”  
He eyes the square curiously. Sovi smiles.  
“It’s chocolate. I don’t know if you ever...”  
“I know it”, he interrupts her, but it doesn’t sound angry or impatient. It’s just that he hasn’t had chocolate in a long time and is surprised to find it here of all places. Not a lot of planets bother to grow the beans and go through the whole production process when there are millions of other, more readily available sweets to be enjoyed. 

“It’s the best against nightmares. Scientifically proven. There are studies and everything.” She winks at him, and somehow he feels just a little bit lighter.  
“Studies, hm?”  
“Oh yes. Whole books and experiments by very clever people. I volunteered. Ate tons of the stuff in the name of science. Very serious business.”

He manages a small smile and unwraps the square before taking a bite. It tastes delicious, warm and smooth, with just the right amount of sweetness and a hint of something earthy and spicy. And somehow, it helps him ground himself. Reality becomes just a bit more believable, and the threat of a false dawn that would destroy the planet disappears from his mind. 

“Thank you”, he finally manages, and he hopes she knows he doesn’t just mean the chocolate.  
“There’s more where that came from”, she replies, and it sounds like she doesn’t just mean the chocolate either. 

There’s a comfortable silence until Millicent starts to make her way back to the house, meowing loudly and looking over her shoulder as if to encourage them to follow her. 

“I think she wants us to go back to bed”, Sovi says and gets up.  
Without thinking, Hux reaches up and catches her hand in his, stopping her. She looks at him with a questioning look, but he doesn’t know what to say. So he just squeezes her hand, trying to convey everything he can’t and won’t say right now. Sovi holds his gaze for a long moment, then she tugs at his hand.  
“Come on. I’m not staying up until dawn. I get cranky on less than eight hours of sleep.”

The image of a cranky Sovi, clutching a mug of tea and looking miserable at the kitchen table, almost makes Hux grin. He can picture her, her hair sticking out of a messy bun, that blanket still wrapped around her, Millicent trying to charm a treat out of her...

“Hux. Bed. Please?”

Hux blinks and realizes he’s still sitting there. Suddenly, he can feel the exhaustion and the lack of sleep, and getting back into a warm bed seems like an excellent idea. The way back to the house seems longer now, but Sovi is leading the way, the seam of the blanket trailing the grass beneath her feet. 

The bedroom is exactly as he left it, but now it feels inviting instead of threatening, and Hux finds himself sighing with relief as he climbs back into bed. Just as he’s closing his eyes, he hears Sovi speak again. 

“Are you ever going to tell me your first name?”  
Hux doesn’t hesitate.  
“Absolutely not.”

She laughs, and he can’t help but smile. 

Sleep comes easy, and the dreams, good or bad, stay away for the rest of the night.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Hux notices something he hasn't noticed before.

When Hux wakes up, it’s just after sunrise, and the morning light is almost golden in the bedroom. The house is quiet apart from the occasional noise from the kitchen and the purrs of Millicent who is lying in Sovi’s arms. Sovi is fast asleep, one of her hands buried in Millicent’s fur. The fact that she is not covered in bloody scratches tells Hux that nothing short of a miracle has happened here. Usually, Millicent is very particular with her affections. Most of the time humans tend to walk away with a few injuries if they try to cuddle her like that. But right now, the cat seems to be very content (and maybe a little smug). 

Hux quietly closes the door behind him and starts the day with a shower. The mirror above the sink shows a tired face, with a bit of a stubble and hair that is definitely not up to First Order standards. He grimaces at himself and runs a hand through it. The guest bathroom is full of all sorts of products that Ardeth and Bal gave him explicit permission to use (apparently, those glorious beards require a lot of maintenance), but for now, the hair gel stays on the shelf. Maybe it’s not a bad idea to start to look a bit different. 

He gets dressed and then makes his way to the kitchen where he finds Ardeth. His host is busy cooking breakfast for what seems to be a dozen people. Eggs and some type of meat are frying in a pan, fresh bread still steaming from the oven is cooling on the windowsill. There are jars of honey and at least three different types of fruit spreads on the table, a jug of milk, some grains mixed with berries and bits of chocolate, butter with herbs from the garden, and a little bowl of edible flowers covered in powdered sugar. When Ardeth notices Hux, he smiles and puts a mug of tea in the other man’s hand. It’s hot and strong and it wakes him up a lot better than he expected. 

“Rough night?” he asks, and Hux shrugs. He’s not in the mood for an early morning therapy session. Ardeth gestures to a chair at the table. “Don’t worry, it’s alright. I just heard you guys go outside and figured. Talk whenever you’re ready. To her or to us, or just… you know.” He smiles and turns back to the pan to watch the eggs.

“Thank you.” Not that he will take him up on his offer. He’s not the kind of person who wears his heart on his perfectly tailored sleeve, and he probably never will be. What happened in the garden last night feels a hundred years away, like something that happened to somebody else. He’s shown weakness, and still nobody has punished him for it. It doesn’t look like they ever will either. 

“Tell me about yourself”, Ardeth then says, his back to him, stirring the contents of the pan and adding some chopped vegetables. Hux looks up from his mug and narrows his eyes. 

“You know who I am.”

Ardeth turns around and raises his eyebrows. “I know maybe five percent of what there is to know about you. You don’t have to start with your childhood, but maybe a little more than the fact you are General Hux, defector from the First Order?”

“What do you want to know?” Hux is pretty sure he’s supposed to feel uncomfortable, but something tells him Ardeth just wants to make friendly conversation. This is not an interrogation.

They end up talking about how he and Sovi met. How at first they only communicated via encrypted, short messages, text only, to establish a plan and to exchange information. How during their first conversation that actually had a visual interface, she had waved at the camera and he had rolled his eyes. “She had a handful of leaves in her hair because she had been hiding in the woods on some moon, waiting for the patrols to pass before she made contact. She never noticed there was a bug crawling on her shoulder while we spoke. Or she didn’t care.”

Ardeth smiles fondly while he piles the eggs and vegetables onto Hux’ plate. “The way I know her, she rescued that bug and made sure it found its way back onto a tree before continuing to rescue the galaxy.”

“That’s a strange set of priorities”, Hux mumbles before he digs in. It’s delicious, of course, because everything Ardeth cooks is delicious. 

“Sovi likes to pay attention to the little things. It may have been just a bug, but, you know. It’s life. Precious. It’s her way of putting a bit of light back into a universe that’s growing darker by the day.” 

Hux doesn't know what to say to that, so they eat in silence for a bit until there’s a creak from the floorboards in the hallway. Sovi emerges into the kitchen, Millicent in her arms.  
“Morning, gentlemen.” 

She smiles at the sight of all the breakfast foods. Ardeth gets up to give her a kiss on the cheek and then offers her his chair, already returning to the stove to fry up some more eggs. She takes his mug from him, adding more tea. Then she looks at Hux over the rim of the mug. It should be slightly awkward, but to his surprise, he feels normal. Not like he spilled his darkest secrets to a woman he’s known for less than two months, most of that time via encrypted communication channels. It dawns on him that he’s only been here for three days. It feels like a year. But maybe that’s what happens if you leave an entire life and an entire belief system behind. 

During the day, everyone is busy with various things around the house. Hux feels a bit useless at first because he’s not sure what he’s supposed (or allowed) to do. Chopping wood isn’t exactly his forte, and there are no planets to conquer and no officers to yell at. He’s not cut out for mundane country living. Bal, who spent the morning out in the settlement, returns around lunchtime and comes to his rescue. “General? Can I borrow you for a minute? I could use your help.”

Hux puts the axe he's been holding on the chopping block and follows Bal to the front of the house where the small shuttle is parked that first brought them from the forest to the settlement. There, he stops him and glances back to the house before he speaks.

“Listen, I would prefer if you didn’t call me that. It… it doesn’t feel right anymore.” His uniform is still in the closet, but he doubts he will ever wear it again. He hopes he won’t. He prays he doesn’t have to. 

Bal gives him an understanding nod. “Of course. Hux, then. Unless you prefer something else…?”

“Hux is fine.”  
“Alright. Listen, we are trying to establish some kind of schedule to make it easier to keep track of the freighter routes and openings for communication. A lot of it is unpredictable, but some patterns do exist. We’re not the most organized bunch, but I figured we could use a system anyway. We don’t have a steady influx of people, mostly they come in waves, and it would be good to be able to give them some kind of predictability so they can plan their stay. Do you think you might be able to help us with that?”

 _He’s offering me a chance to be useful_ , Hux thinks, and he feels a burden fall off his shoulders. If there’s one thing he’s good at, it’s planning and organizing and coordinating people and ships. Just ask the galaxy. 

“Show me what you have”, he says, and Bal beams and puts a datapad into his hands. They go over various things, Hux makes suggestions, carefully avoiding to sound like he’s giving out orders. Soon they relocate inside the shuttle to access more data, and the rest of the day flies by. 

That evening, Hux realizes he hasn’t talked to Sovi since breakfast. He finds her trying to catch one of the chickens that has escaped their enclosure. When she finally gets a hold of it, she puts the struggling animal under her arm and blows her hair out of her face. “Food and shelter is in there, you silly thing. Are you trying to get eaten by the things that live in the forest?”, she scolds the chicken before putting it back with its mates. Then she grins at Hux. “Hi.”

_She’s beautiful._

The thought hits him from nowhere and it’s thoroughly confusing in its intensity. Especially because there’s nothing particularly special about the way she looks right now. Her clothing is the opposite of elegant, stained with soil from the garden, the shirt just a bit too big because it’s one of Ardeth’s. Her hair is its usual mess, tied back in a loose braid that falls down to just below her shoulders. Her face is flushed from running after the chicken, and a couple of small feathers are stuck to her arm. Her smile grows wider and she tilts her head. “What?”

“What?” Hux echoes. 

_What is **wrong** with you? _

Before Hux can make a total fool of himself, a shout from Bal has them running to the shuttle. He emerges from inside with an excited look on his face. 

“I just got a message from someone who is on their way here. She’s an old friend, and she’s planning to stay here for quite a while. Which means she won’t need her ship in the forseeable future.” He looks at Hux. “It’s not that I don’t like having you as a guest, but Sovi told me you fear the First Order may track you here. My friend’s ship is capable of hyperspace jumps. Just one or two until it needs refueling, but it might be a chance for you to get out of here before the harvest festival.” 

Hux swallows hard. This is it. This is his chance. He might actually get away, not be stuck on this planet, and far from the reach of the First Order and Ren’s stupid misguided ambitions. It’s like the universe has decided to work in his favor for once. 

Then why doesn’t he feel like celebrating?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU for the kudos! I'm a small fry compared to other authors here, but every single hit and kudo makes me happy. I will try to update one more chapter this evening (Berlin time).


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because this has been going way too smoothly until now.

It turns out that the mysterious friend with the ship will arrive in about two weeks. Hux still isn’t sure if he’s looking forward to or dreading it. He has to admit that he’s starting to like this planet and its people. He feels better day by day. There is the occasional nightmare, but nothing like the ones that made him sit bolt upright in his bed that second night. Living with Sovi, Bal and Ardeth has its challenges, but they all try to give him and each other space and support in equal measures. 

It also helps that he has an actual purpose now. Bal didn’t exaggerate when he said that they weren’t very organized – in fact, Hux has never met a group of more chaotic and disorganized people in his life. It’s not that they don’t want to work together, but the settlement consists of some very colorful personalities, and everyone highly values their (and other people’s) independence and agency to the point where they spend hours trying to come to a consensus instead of just voting on an issue. It drives Hux crazy, but a part of him also has a lot of admiration for the amount of patience it takes to make 150 people happy, leaving nobody feeling left out or overlooked. He isn’t used to this style of government (it’s not really a government, but he lacks the vocabulary to describe it accurately). It’s so much easier to just tell people what to do and have them be obedient or afraid enough to do it. Taking everyone’s opinion into account doesn’t work in an army. It also means believing that everyone’s opinion counts, which is a rather foreign concept to him. 

He leaves them to sort out the details, stays in the background and helps with the more practical problems. That’s where he can really sink his teeth into a problem. How do you get a schedule out to other planets when you can’t communicate beyond the solar system on a regular basis? Who updates the information when new freighter routes are established? Do people need to ask for transport, or can they just hop on whenever one drops by? Is there a rota, or do they leave the technical stuff to those who love doing it anyway? What if someone gets sick or leaves? Does everyone know how the system works, and if not, how can the others teach them so that everyone is on the same level of knowledge? 

There are moments when he scans the crowd for Sovi’s face or listens for her voice amidst the group discussions. Coming back to the house in the evenings always puts him in a good mood. The four of them usually have dinner together, and Hux sometimes is able to steal a moment with Sovi, going for a walk or just feeding the chickens. She sometimes asks him things about his past, but she never pries and drops the subject immediately when he pushes back. 

About four days before the scheduled arrival of his ticket out of here, there is a celebration. It’s someone’s birthday and apparently, tradition is that everyone gathers at a lake a short hike from the settlement, lighting fires on the shore. There is food, drinks, and lots of laughter. Everyone is a bit dressed up, Ardeth has even more flowers in his beard than usual, and someone has brought musical instruments. 

When night falls, paper lanterns are passed around, and people start writing things on them before wading into the water with them. They light them one by one, pushing them out onto the lake, where they form little clusters of light in the dark. 

“Want one?”  
Sovi holds a lantern out to Hux, a pen in the other hand. Hux looks at her.  
“What do I write?”  
“Something you’d like to let go. At least that’s what most people do.”  
He takes the pen, but not the lantern. Something inside him resists taking it, and he looks away.  
“I… I don’t think I should be doing this.”  
Sovi lowers her arm holding the lantern and steps closer.  
“Why? It’s just a silly little ritual. But most people find it helps them.”  
“I don’t have anything to write on there”, he answers and takes a step away from the shore, handing the pen back to Sovi, who looks surprised.  
“You don’t have anything you want to let go of?”

“I didn’t say that. I said I don’t have anything to write on there”, he repeats, and suddenly anger flickers up inside him. He can deal with the colors and the lights and the music and everyone always being so caring and kind with each other, as long as he keeps himself firmly separated from all of it. He is not a part of it, never was, no matter how much they try to make him feel like it. The feeling of anger flares up some more, brighter this time. “There isn’t a lantern big enough for everything I would need to write”, he adds bitterly and walks off. 

Sovi hands the lantern to someone else and runs after him.  
“Hux! Wait!”  
He stops so abruptly that she almost runs into him and shoots her a look that makes her take a step back.

“Where do you think this will lead? There is no happy end. I will always be a fugitive. Do you know what the First Order do with people who help fugitives? When they get here – when, not if – they will not hesitate to kill every living thing in a five hundred mile radius. Just as a warning to anyone else who might think of doing something like that again. Pryde doesn’t need a reason to wipe out every man, woman and child here, and Ren doesn’t need one either. To be honest, it’s a miracle you are still here, all of you.” Sovi starts to speak, but he cuts her off. “Stop trying to make me into something I can’t be. For your own sake, and everyone else here.” Then he turns around again and walks away, faster this time. It’s unfair because she will have trouble keeping up, but he doesn’t want her to keep up. He wants to be alone. 

The problem is, Sovi doesn’t agree. After a minute, he hears a breathless “dammit” and then there is a hand on his arm, pulling him to a stop, yanking him around to face her.

“You don't get to do this anymore!” She sounds pissed. Hux crosses his arms and tries to stare her down, but she’s not the kind of person you can stare down, no matter the height difference.  
“I don’t get to do what?”  
“Hurt people and then just leave. Sorry, those times are over. Face your shit, Hux, before it buries you alive.”  
“That’s none of your business.”  
“Oh shut up, of course it is!”  
“I’m not your project, Sovi!” 

_Ah, there it is._

She takes a deep breath. “That’s what you think this is?” 

He pretends not to notice the hurt in her eyes. His voice is sharp now, and the thing inside him that had almost disappeared since he got here rears its ugly head again, waiting for fuel.  
“Is it not? Then why are you doing this? What’s in it for you?”

He's gotten pretty loud, and she flinches. When she speaks again, he can hear the tears in her voice. 

“I’m doing this because I believe that everyone deserves a chance to turn their life around. Because I believe we will never get anywhere in life if we don't start fixing what’s broken in ourselves. Because I need to have hope that no matter how far someone has waded into the water, they can come back. Because I’ve seen how you’re hurting, and I want you to be free from it.”

“Why do you care?” He knows this tone of voice. It’s the one he used to use when he demanded something from someone, expecting an answer, and God help anyone who didn’t answer right then. 

“I guess it’s what I do”, Sovi shoots back, throwing her hands up, “I care! I’m _so_ sorry for doing that to you!” Before he can say anything else, she adds, “And honestly, General, if I wanted a _project_ , I’d take up knitting. I’m really terrible at knitting.”

With that, she leaves him standing there. He watches her walk back to the lake, and he can see Bal put his arms around her in the light of the fires on the beach. Ardeth joins them, stroking Sovi’s back and giving his husband a confused look. Before they can look back at him, Hux turns around and walks back to the house. 

He sleeps in the shuttle that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pacifism or not, the Karimms are of the "break her heart and we break your legs" variety, so Hux better watch out, haha!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A childhood where everything went downhill after age five sucks.

He doesn’t dare go into the kitchen the next morning because he’s fairly sure Ardeth would use ten different utensils, including the knives, to let him now how he feels about what happened last night. He’s only lived with them for a little over three weeks, but he’s already seen how fiercely protective Ardeth and Bal are of Sovi. Not that she can’t take care of herself, but he has a suspicion that the pacifist mindset would fly out the window if anyone tried to seriously harm her. Bal with an axe is an intimidating sight. And right now, they are both pissed at him, he’s sure.

So he tries to avoid breakfast as long as his grumbling stomach lets him. Millicent decides to take a look around the shuttle, but completely ignores him except for one hiss when he tries to touch her. Alright, even the cat is Team Sovi. _Got it._ He follows the cat outside, blinking in the sunlight, and makes his way over to the house. Thankfully, it’s empty, so he can use the bathroom in peace and grab a slice of bread and some tea. Just as he is about to go outside again, Ardeth walks in and stops in the door. Hux sets down his mug on the counter, half expecting the other man to take a swing at him. Instead, Ardeth just sighs.

“You’re quite the asshole, you know that, right?”

Hux takes a deep breath. “Look--”

“No. Seriously. She has been nothing but kind to you. She risked her life to save you, at a time when she had zero reason to. And this is how you treat her? By telling her your’re not worth the effort, and that she has some selfish motive for helping you, and then essentially telling her to get lost? Wow. I mean, _wow_.”

Hux sits down, because this is definitely going to take a while. Ardeth starts pacing in the kitchen.

“You hurt her, man. I know she seems like a tough person and you can throw insults at her and she just rolls with the punches, but last night? That was a low blow. And just because you’re leaving in a couple of days doesn’t mean you have to burn every single bridge here. Especially not that one. You have no idea what you’re throwing away, you idiot.”

“I didn’t do it to hurt her”, Hux defends himself, “I just needed her to understand that… She’s getting her hopes up for something that probably isn’t possible for me. I know she wants me to join you lot, becoming some reformed version of myself--”

“She wants you to heal, for your own sake”, Ardeth interrupts him, sounding more tired than angry.  
“Well, I think that’s a bit too ambitious for one lifetime.”  
“Wait, I thought ambition was your middle name?” He gives him a lopsided grin, and Hux shakes his head.  
“Seriously, Ardeth, she’s too generous. With her faith in people. With her compassion. It will get her killed one day.”  
“I’m sure she wouldn’t want to die of anything else,” Ardeth answers, more serious now.  
“Well I certainly don’t deserve any of it.”  
Ardeth throws up his hands in desperation. “Stop _doing_ that! Stop saying that you don’t deserve something. It’s so incredibly self-centered. You don’t get to decide that!”  
“Then who does?” Hux shoots back, crossing his arms. Ardeth rolls his eyes.

“First of all, that is not the question. Second, if you don’t find her and apologize to her within the next hour, I will tell my husband that you’re being an idiot and he will give you a piece of his mind. And believe me, he can be a lot more annoying and judgy than me. He also knows more creative insults.”

That does the trick, and Hux is out the door before Ardeth can say another word.

* * *

He finds her down at the lake. The fires are out, all except one, and a few of the paper lanterns that haven’t sunk have been blown back onto shore by the wind. Sovi is collecting them and throwing them into the fire. She’s not looking in his direction and he’s not sure if she saw him coming, so he keeps walking towards her. Finally, she looks up, shielding her eyes from the sun with one hand.

Hux used to have no problem commandeering a weapon the size of a planet, telling 36,000 Stormtroopers what to do, but right now he’s way out of his depth. _Diplomacy, Hux. Not a totally foreign concept. Come on._

“Um”, he says, and Sovi throws the last remaining lantern into the flames.  
“Hey.”  
“Hey.”  
“Ardeth sent you?”  
“He didn’t _send_ me… alright, yes, he sent me.” He points to a nearby piece of driftwood big enough to sit on. “Can we talk?”

She follows him to the driftwood, really an old tree trunk that had fallen into the lake a long time ago, and sits down next to him. Her bare feet are buried in the sand, and she picks up a twig and starts tracing patterns with it. Hux takes a deep breath and looks out over the lake before he turns to her.

“I’m sorry”, he says, and the moment he says it, he can feel that he means it, too. “I was being unfair. I hurt your feelings. It wasn’t okay, and I’m sorry.”

It sounds clunky and foreign, but that’s because he’s pretty sure he’s never said those words in that combination out loud to anyone. Sovi doesn’t say anything for a long time, just looks at him, and he realizes that for the first time in his life, he would be devastated if a person decided not to forgive him. Finally, she runs a hand through her hair and closes her eyes for a moment. Then she looks at him again and nods.

“Okay.”  
“Okay?”  
“Yes. Apology accepted. You’re lucky I like you, you jerk.” She's smiling now.

Relief rushes through Hux. Sovi sits up a bit straighter and claps her hands together. “Also, new rule. You have to tell me one thing about yourself every day, and you can’t make something up. I will not ask follow-up questions, but you have to be honest. Deal?”

“First name is off limits”, Hux says automatically, and Sovi smirks and shakes her head.  
“One day you will have to tell me what’s so terrible about it. But okay, yeah, no first name.”  
“Then we have a deal, madam.”

They actually shake hands on it, and then she starts drawing in the sand with the twig again. “Okay, first thing about yourself. Tell me a good memory from your childhood.”

 _Damn, she goes straight for the throat, doesn’t she?_ But they have a deal, and he owes her. So he searches his memories, actually making an effort. There’s a woman with kind eyes, but her face is almost faded in his mind. Too long ago. A bed near a window, the pouring rain outside, the sound helping him fall asleep. A stuffed animal, soft and brand new, as a birthday gift. They all seem so short and ordinary, nothing that stands out. Until he remembers.

“There was some national holiday, and we were promised fireworks. It had been raining all day, but half an hour before the show was supposed to start, it actually cleared up. I remember the sky being full of the brightest stars, some satellites and smaller spacecraft crossing, and then the fireworks. There was music, too, perfectly timed. We sat on the roof, a couple of older children, my mother and me. There was a lot of candy. I think I ate so much I threw up. I must have been four years old.”

Sovi smiles, and he’s insanely grateful for the "no follow-up questions" rule.

“Alright, your turn,” he points at her, “Tell me… something you’re really bad at. Besides knitting.”

She thinks for a second, then winces.  
“Oh this is embarrassing. Um. Over the years, I’ve officiated the weddings of sixty-one couples and triads across the solar system. Only ten of them are still together. Apparently I’m really bad luck for relationships.”  
“Ouch.” He winces in sympathy.  
“Yeah”, she agrees and then starts laughing. “But people keep booking me, so I guess at least the ceremonies are really moving!”  
“You should offer a discount. Divorce within five years, they get fifty percent of their money back.”  
“See, this is why I don’t take business advice from the military! You lot are throwing out money with both hands!” She grins at him to soften the blow, and he grins back. Then be becomes a bit more serious.

“Follow-up question, I know I'm breaking the rules here. Do you still hate me?”  
Sovi shakes her head and nudges his shoulder with hers.  
“I never hated you.”  
Hux sighs. “I was an asshole.”  
“Yes you were. But it takes more than that to make me hate you.”

 _I don’t deserve your forgiveness_ , he wants to say, but he half expects Ardeth to appear out of thin air and slap him upside the head, so he doesn’t say it out loud. Instead, he squeezes her hand.

“Thank you. For everything. I probably should be saying that once every hour.”  
“Please don’t, that would be really annoying.”  
“Well, that’s payback for all the times you’ve annoyed me.”  
“Excuse me!” she gasps, pretending to be shocked, “I’m a goddamn delight!”  
“No you’re not. You’re terrible. A menace. Even when I just knew you through text messages, I found you insufferable.”  
“The nerve”, she mutters while crossing her arms, and Hux can’t help himself, he starts to laugh.

The old ugliness inside him retreats, turns a little lighter, and loses some of its power.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Never switch on comms if you don’t know who changed the settings last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little shorter because I couldn't resist letting it end where it does. The upside is that the second half is already written and will go up tomorrow as soon as I'm home from work.
> 
> Edit on June 2nd: I did a tiny edit to eliminate some logistical problems with the Karimms leaving Sovi at the Sprinter. Those happen when you don't have a beta reader. Hope that's okay. ;-)

Sovi keeps the questions harmless and fun over the next two days: where he got Millicent, and what he would get Kylo Ren for his birthday (-”A grenade.”). He finally learns that she actually doesn’t have a last name because her home planet’s culture never saw the need for one. Some people make up names that tell about the wearer’s personality or their ties to friends and family, but most people legitimately only have the one name. If she does have to use one because official documents on other planets require it, she is Sovi Karimm. 

They spend a lot more time together, working and going on walks. Sovi tells him about the plaques on the plateau on the hill that he discovered on his second day. They’re commemorative, left there by people who went through their healing process, or by their loved ones if the people themselves weren’t able to. He also tries to wrap things up with the villagers, going over the systems and rotas with them to make sure they can work with that they’ve established together. 

Other things are still chaotic, but it’s a good kind of chaos. Hux is still reluctant to admit that there is even such a thing as a good kind of chaos, even though it does make life a bit more interesting. The settlement has no leader, and nobody cares about things like order, obedience, punishment or stating an example if anybody steps out of line. He’s still getting used to it.

And then the day comes when the person who is willing to give up their ship lands in a field a short shuttle ride from the settlement. It’s an older woman, her white hair short and spiky, her hands full of bags and gifts for the villagers who hug and kiss her and welcome her back. They have prepared an apartment for her. She looks happy to be back. The ship she came in changes owners with an unceremonious “She’s yours, young man”, and then Hux has officially a way to get off the planet.

It’s a small ship, just big enough for maybe two people and their belongings. It’s a Sprinter class which is a ridiculous category because it’s anything but a sprinter. It’s old, its blue and brown paint banged up from space debris, and it’s only capable of exactly one hyperspace jump until it runs out of fuel and has to be parked in orbit around a sun so the solar cells can pick up enough power to go on at a snail’s pace. But it’s the best chance Hux has. One jump is enough to lose the First Order for a while. 

And then he’s packing a bag with some clothes and supplies, and Sovi is helping him carry things into the shuttle, and she’s trying hard to hold it together. After another trip to the Sprinter, he tells her to keep Millicent. Of course she protests, but it would be stupid to take a cat along on this journey. 

“Besides, she likes you better”, he says and Sovi buries her face in Millicent’s fur.  
“You could stay, you know”, she then offers, but it sounds like she already knows what he’s going to say.  
“Sovi--”  
“I know. I know, I’m sorry. Too dangerous. For us and for you.”  
She’s essentially repeating what he’s told her in countless discussions in the past few days, and Hux feels his heart grow heavy.  
“It’s just… I think you have unfinished business here”, she then adds, fiddling with the clasp of one of the supply crates. Hux takes the crate from her.  
“Maybe I do. The first opportunity for safe communication I get, you will hear from me. I promise.”

Ardeth and Bal ride with them in the shuttle to the Sprinter. It’s maybe twenty minutes, but Hux finds himself wishing it would be longer, and more than once he has the impulse to just turn the damn thing around and go back to the house. 

They put some last supplies into the back of the Sprinter, and then Hux finds himself in a bear hug from Ardeth.  
“Nice beard in the making, by the way”, he says, and Hux laughs.  
“You have a ten year head start on me with that one.”  
“Well, come back for the harvest festival and we’ll compare. I see potential.” He then reaches up, one single flower in his hand, but Hux quickly ducks out of the way to say goodbye to Bal. There have been a lot of thank yous and goodbyes over the past 48 hours, so they keep this one short. 

The Karimms are already climbing back into the shuttle while Sovi tells them to go ahead, she will walk back to the village. But first, she insists on seeing the cockpit. Once inside, she puts Hux' personal bag into the co-pilot’s seat and takes a look around. Hux reaches past her to a panel on the wall. 

“I need to check if comms work. That way we can keep in contact until I’m out of range.”

With that, he flips a switch. 

And immediately wishes he hadn’t. 

“Hello, General Hux. So very good to see you.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which, dear reader, you finally get what you deserve. And then I torture you a bit more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another quite short chapter because I'm mean. But don't worry, the story will continue! I'm writing as we speak.

Comms in this particular spacecraft comes with video, not just audio, and it’s been set to broadcast by the previous owner. A projection of Allegiant General Pryde is smiling at them, either from halfway across the galaxy or right above them in orbit, there’s no way to determine that. Hux is hit by a mix of familiarity, old feelings of rage, and something new, equally destructive. There wasn’t any doubt that they would eventually find him, but coming face to face with Pryde so soon drives home the point.

He quickly steps in front of Sovi, shielding her from view and also trying to shield her from Pryde’s presence in general.

“Do stand by, would you, we will be with you shortly. And then we’ll talk. We have lots to talk about.”

With that, the visual connection cuts out. Hux’ hand is shaking as he reaches behind him and flips the switch back in the off position. So much for comms.

They’ve found him.  
They’ve found the planet.  
And they’re on their way.

Sovi is the first to spring to action. “Go. You need to leave right now, before they get here”, she urges him on and starts pushing him toward the pilot seat. Hux grabs her arm.

“You can’t be here when they arrive. Come with me.”  
Sovi gives him a sad smile.  
“I can't. You know I can't. Someone has to take care of Millicent. And the chickens. And my friends.”  
Hux feels panic rising in him. “They’ll kill you all!”

“Not if they land here and not at the settlement. Make the hyperspace jump while you’re still in atmosphere. They have locked onto this position, right? If they don’t find anyone here, they will go straight to the village. If I’m here, I will buy the others time to hide because they will first concentrate on me. Hux, he’s seen me. He knows I’m here. And they’re looking for you, not anyone else. We have underground tunnels and places to hide. I’ll sound the alarm, and everyone will be in hiding in fifteen minutes. We... they'll be okay.”  
“Sovi, no--”  
“You need to go.” She has tears in her eyes now, and reaches for the datapad with the coordinates that’s connected to the main navigational unit. Turning it from view, she adds, “Don’t let me see. Don’t tell me where you’re going. I can’t tell them what I don’t know.”

With dawning horror, he realizes she’s repeating the words from his nightmare from a few weeks back. But she’s right. He hates it, but she’s right. She always is. If he stays, they’ll kill him and everyone here. If she goes with him, they will first take it out on the settlement and then hunt them both. The only way to save as many people as possible is to convince them that nobody here knows where he’s going, Sovi included. And the only way to prove that is if Sovi really doesn't know and Ren confirms it. That way, at least they have a chance. The odds are catastrophic, but better than zero.

He lets her use the ship’s systems to boost the signal that will alert the rest of the settlement and then steers her to the door where he grabs her shoulders, forcing her to look at him.

“Listen to me. Don’t try anything stupidly heroic”, he begs her. “Keep your head down. Don’t provoke him. Cooperate. Answer their questions.” The very thought of it all makes him sick to his stomach, but it’s the only way she and the others will get out of this alive. He lets go of her and almost immediately pulls her back into a hug. She clings to him for a moment and whispers a goodbye. Then she pries herself from him and walks outside.

The engines are starting up because he has already activated the launch sequence, and he should probably close the door, but he hesitates. _Damn it._ As fast as he can without actually breaking into a run, he walks back outside, straight to Sovi, cups her face in his hands and kisses her.

It’s a thank you, and a goodbye, and a wordless version of the thing he wants to tell her but can’t because he’s a fucking coward.

Her fingers dig to his shirt, and she kisses him back. When they both break apart for air, he rests his forehead against hers.  
“It’s Armitage, by the way.”  
It takes her a moment to get it, and then she starts to smile. It’s like the sun coming up.  
“Hi”, she says.  
“Hi”, he answers.

He kisses her once more and then, in a huge effort of will, pulls himself away, climbs into the Sprinter, and closes the door without taking another look back. He lets himself fall into the pilot seat, punches the accelerator, and the ship roars to life and takes off, disappearing into the storm clouds above the fields.

* * *

Hux makes the jump as soon as he has cleared the upper clouds. A hyperspace jump in an old rusty bucket like this in the middle of a thunderstorm would have been a bit too daring. The plan had been to stay in radio contact until he was too far away and then make the jump, but that was before the First Order’s impeccable timing.

When he comes out of hyperspace, he’s in a small two-star system about 16 light years from Galinia II, far enough that they won’t find him for quite some time. And too far to communicate. All he can do now is charge up the solar panels, wait for the Sprinter to have enough energy, and fly to the nearest inhabitable planet and take it from there. He looks at the time; it’s been two hours. If Sovi is lucky, it’s already over and they have left in frustration.

* * *

Almost immediately after the Sprinter has taken off, the wind picks up and the clouds start to look more menacing. Sovi wraps her arms around herself. She’s exposed here on the field, but she can’t leave because that’s the last known position of the Sprinter, so that’s where the First Order will touch down. The ship must have been in orbit, because Sovi doesn’t have to wait long before it lands. It starts with a loud noise far above her, and she has to shield her eyes as the wind from the turbines picks up dust and debris around her. With a menacing CLUNK, the ship touches ground. Then the rear hatch opens and about twenty Stormtroopers exit, together with Pryde, and she almost laughs because they must be very, very scared of her to bring so many people. People, she reminds herself. They are people, like her. Even if twenty weapons are pointed at her now.

Pryde is a tall man, a bit taller than Hux even, but not by much. His blue eyes could have been kind in another life, the lines around them could have been from laughing a lot, but here, they are just cold and calculating. He doesn’t carry a blaster – he doesn’t need to – but a baton. Sovi wants to tell herself she’s not afraid, but the truth is, she’s very, very scared right now. It takes everything she has to keep herself from shaking with fear.

“I assume you know why we’re here”, he says without even looking at her, taking in his surroundings, his hands clasped behind his back.  
Her voice shakes, but she speaks loud enough for everyone to hear, even over the rising wind.  
“He’s not here. Not anymore. He was here for almost a month, though.” Despite being terrified, she manages a grin. “And you’ve missed him by thirty minutes.”

Pryde’s eyes finally meet hers, and before she can react, he strikes out with his arm and slams the baton against her temple, hard. Pain explodes in her head, and she collapses on the ground. The last thing she hears over the ringing in her ears is, “She knows. She’s coming with us.” She feels hands picking her up, dragging her up the ramp into the transporter. Then, everything goes dark.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you have time to think, you have time to panic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so sorry for letting you guys wait a whole week. I swear I don't condone torture like that, but work has been a bit crazy and I was visiting my family whom I hadn't been able to see since February (I'm an aunt now!). I took the laptop with me, but I was too busy cuddling my niece, forgive me. I promise I won't let you wait another week!
> 
> A note on the timeline: by now we have veered into canon divergent territory. I'll update the tags accordingly. I needed a bit more time for things to unfold before the battle of Exegol. Since time is not a straight line, but more of a wibbly-wobbly thing, we'll file that under creative license. ;-)

Sovi isn’t used to silence. She’s either in nature, with friends, at a celebration, or on a ship. Spaceships make all kinds of sounds. Not in actual space, because sound doesn’t travel in a vacuum, but the interior is never quiet. In fact, the smaller the ship, the louder it usually is. Engines, electronics, signals and just the creak and clank of different materials stressed to their limit. It can range from a low background hum to being so loud that you have to shout to have a conversation. (Never again taking a 75 year old freighter held together by tape and prayers, thank you very much!)

That’s part of the reason she feels so disoriented right now, because she can hear absolutely nothing. Which either means the blow to her head has led to hearing loss, or she’s on a structure that’s so big and well insulated that nothing penetrates the walls of the room she’s in. She also has a problem with the left side of her body somehow, it won’t obey her. Feeling is returning in pins and needles, but slowly. Judging from the amount of dried blood in her hair, she should be feeling a lot worse right now. She suspects the First Order are more interested in her being alive which has led to the bare minimum of medical attention. Dying of a traumatic brain injury courtesy of a trigger happy Allegiant General would have defeated the purpose of her capture.

Still, her head hurts. In fact, everything hurts. Her vision is a bit blurry at the edges, and she doesn’t know if the vibration she can feel when she puts her hand on the floor is her nerves misfiring or an actual engine a few decks below her. Carefully, she sits up and rests her back against the wall. The room is empty, white walls, with just a door. No bench, no table, no window. Not exactly the guest quarters, it seems.

 _Don’t provoke him_ , Hux had told her. Sovi grimaces. She was never good at doing what she’s told. And while she has a generally sunny outlook on life, she is not good with being in actual danger. And if she ever had been, she would have done some kind of mental gymnastics to pretend she wasn’t. She’s not a fighter. She’s not brave, or at least she’s never had the opportunity to be brave. Saving Armitage on the Steadfast doesn’t count because that was a spur of the moment decision and it all happened so fast that she barely had time to think.

 _Armitage_. The past few hours come flooding back to her, and she buries her face in her head with a groan that’s not entirely because of her massive headache.

_He waited until the last possible moment to kiss you.  
And you. Kissed. Him. Back._

_And the award for Making Things Complicated goes to…_

The door opens without warning, making her jump.

“Get up.” A Stormtrooper has entered the room, two more waiting outside, all with their weapons drawn. Sovi isn’t stupid enough to provoke someone pointing a blaster at her, but after two failed attempts to comply, she carefully lowers herself back down.  
“Guys, I’m not trying to be difficult, but I really can’t. I need a minute.”  
They don’t give her a minute. The Stormtrooper yanks her to her feet by her arm and shoves her towards the other two. She almost falls again, the pain in her head a bright fire now.

Then there’s a sting at her neck, and some of the pain and the nausea fades. Before she can ask what the injection was, they drag her along the corridor. Apparently they need her at least semi-alert for whatever is coming next. And she has an idea what’s coming next. She just hopes Kylo Ren or someone else who has the Force is actually there so they can get to the “She really doesn’t know anything” part quickly. The alternative is too grim to think about.

* * *

It turns out that waiting when you have nothing to do is actual torture. At least for Hux. He’s pretty used to waiting, but he’s never been alone for such a long period of time, with nothing to plan, no meetings, no inspections of troops. To be really, truly alone, with not a single other soul in the vicinity, is something he hasn’t had for years. Decades, maybe. There have always been people around. Sure, he could close the doors to his quarters, but someone was always calling, knocking, or waiting outside with a datapad or news or a damage report from one of Kylo Ren’s rampages. (He _really_ doesn’t miss those.)

Now, it’s just him and the ship with all it’s little beeps and blinking lights. The solar panels have unfolded, soaking up the energy of the double star in this system. The instruments tell him it will be 48 hours until he’ll be able to make another hyperspace jump. He could just continue on a slower pace, but he doesn’t want to risk draining the batteries and then run into trouble when he needs to be fast.

Until now, he has occupied himself with reading the instruction manual (which basically consists of “Don’t push those buttons, keep this lever straight, and good luck”), sorting through his supplies, walking the length of the ship (all 15 meters of it), testing out the two bunks, and searching every possible hiding place in case Millicent has decided to be a stowaway. He’s equal parts disappointed and relieved the cat isn’t actually on board. He wouldn’t have put it past her. No, it was better to leave her on Galinia II. She’s loved and cared for there, he’s sure of it.

He fixes himself something to eat, checks on the solar panels’ progress again, and makes a few notes of planets in range that might have means of interstellar communication. He also thinks about contacting the Resistance, but they might have bigger problems on their hands right now. Still, it can’t hurt to try.

The pilot seat swivels around to face the back of the ship and is quite comfortable, so Hux sits down and goes through his personal bag in search of a datapad with some encrypted Resistance channels. He stops when his hands touch paper. What he pulls out of his bag seems to be a bundle of handwritten pages, the last one signed with “ _the insufferable woman who stole your cat_ ”.

Armitage Hux is very good at quite a lot of things. For example, he’s absolutely brilliant at ignoring the fact that he did a very impulsive and very un-Hux-like thing just before taking off. There is a small section in his brain reserved for that very thing, and it’s heavily guarded and shut off from the rest of him. He did it the minute the ship’s door closed, and he’s been able to keep that part away from any actual feeling or thinking parts so far. And he intends to keep it that way. Because it was stupid, impulsive, and it made things very, very messy. He hates messy things. Still, he starts to read.

“ _Hey,_

 _sorry for smuggling this on board. But as I said, you have unfinished business and I thought I might as well write down some of the things I wanted to ask you and tell you. Remember our deal? Did you really think you would get away with answering only five questions in total?_ (There’s a little smiley face painted on the paper after that.) _So, to keep with the tradition of annoying the crap out of you, I’ve compiled the rest of the questions here, and I fully expect you to answer every single one of them. You can give them to me when I see you again. Don't argue, because I will._ ”

What follows is an actual list of 30 questions, neatly numbered. She’s also left space after each one for him to answer them. There is a lot more text, but Hux folds the papers away and tucks them between the console and the window. For some reason, his heart is pounding and he doesn’t want to read any further. He closes is eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath. Why, why did he… no, best not to go there. He was confused, it was a spur of the moment thing, he panicked (he never panics), and it certainly won’t happen again.

He wonders if she’s okay.

* * *

They arrive in a big room which actually has a window. They are in hyperspace, which means she has no idea where she will end up. Pryde is standing at the window and turns around as they enter.

"How's the head?"  
"Fuck you", Sovi says, and half expects another hit with the baton.  
Pryde just smiles and nods to the Stormtroopers who put her hands into restraints on the wall. She's almost thankful they're behind her back and not above her head, even though she won't be able to sit down this way.

"Welcome aboard the Steadfast. I understand you have been here before."

Sovi closes her eyes and tries not to show any emotion, but it's difficult. She's back on that blasted ship, after everything she went through to get off? Great. Just great. And the guy who tried to kill Armitage is standing in front of her, and by the looks of it, he's not amused.

"You helped a traitor escape his punishment. You do understand I can't just let you - or him - get away with that. We'll find him, and then I'll finish what I should have done right away."  
"I told you before, I don't know where he went. I swear. I'm of no use to you." It's unnerving how long he can hold eye contact, and Sovi starts to feel like an insect under a microscope. "I really don't know", she adds, and hates how afraid she sounds.

"See, that's the thing, I don't believe you", he answers and starts pacing in front of her. "I think you know exactly where he is, and you don't strike me as the type to resist torture for longer than five minutes. So why not make this easier for everyone and just tell us? I'd hate to waste resources on you."

Sovi can feel herself starting to panic, and she desperately tries to keep her voice even when she speaks again. "Get someone here who can confirm I'm telling the truth. Someone who can read my mind or whatever, I...."  
"Kylo Ren is not here, if that's what you mean", he interrupts her harshly, "He's busy... elsewhere."

_No._

The cold from the metal around her wrists starts to creep upwards in her arms. "I can't tell you what I don't know." Pryde walks towards her again and stops right in front of her.  
"We shall see."


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sovi and Pryde talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for violence and psychological abuse. (Tell me if I should up the rating please, I'm not good with those.)

It has been proven that torture – at least the classic torture where you inflict pain – does not actually work. Any confession or information obtained under torture is essentially worthless because people will say anything to make the pain stop. They will make up things, they will say absolute nonsense, anything to buy themselves more time and end their suffering. Sometimes people break under the mere threat of torture, before the violence has even started, but even then you can’t be really sure that they’re telling the truth. This doesn’t keep evil people from torturing other people, of course, but it’s something that _intelligent_ evil people like Pryde know. At least, Sovi hopes against hope that he knows. Because when he said that she wouldn’t last five minutes, he was being way too generous with that estimate, as far as she’s concerned.

Pryde is also not the kind of person who does the dirty work himself, and he doesn’t seem very interested in keeping the Stormtroopers from getting a few good punches in before he tells them to back off. She’s still shackled to the wall by the metal rings that hold her wrists behind her back, so the only thing she can do is double over and try to get her breathing under control. She can’t give him the one piece of information he actually wants. But she knows other things, her contacts in the Resistance, for example. She hadn’t really thought that through when she had to come up with a plan within 30 seconds back on Galinia II. Then again, Sovi isn’t exactly famous for thinking things through.

“You really are not willing to talk, are you?” Pryde seems almost insulted, like he just invited her for a chat and she is being exceptionally rude by refusing to talk.  
“Not really, no.”  
She has difficulty breathing through the pain, but there’s always enough air for a bit of sarcasm.

Pryde looks at her for a moment and then shakes his head. “I’m curious as to why you are protecting him. You’re not Resistance. You’re not involved in any of their operations as far as we know. According to our records, you’re an absolute nobody. What’s your name?”  
Being a nobody in the First Order’s records is a good thing, but she can at least give him one piece of truth, she decides.  
“Sovi.”  
“Is that your real name?”  
“Yes.”  
“Are you lying to me?”  
“No. Why the fuck would I lie about my name? It’s of no use to you.”  
“You’re good. Quick. A lot of people waste their energy on little things. Not bad, Sovi.” Pryde smiles and walks over to a Stormtrooper who is holding some kind of silver cylinder. Sovi can’t see what it is, but it can’t be good. When he comes back, there’s a syringe in his hand. Instinctively, she tries to recoil, but the wall behind her prevents her from moving. Pryde sighs and holds up the syinge.  
“I don’t have to do this, you know.”  
“Then don’t”, she hisses.  
“Oh, but I want to. Because you will talk, Sovi, one way or the other. And you will not make something up. You will tell me the truth. You will tell me where he went, what he’s planning to do, and anything else I want to know. If I want to know the name of every single person who has helped him, you will tell me. If I want to your favorite color, you will tell me. You are not strong enough to resist, even if you were highly trained, which you are not. Please remember that, whatever happens next.”

Before she can ask what he means, he plunges the needle into her neck, and then the world just stops.

* * *

When she wakes up, she’s on the floor, free from her restraints. The room is empty and the ship seems to have dropped out of hyperspace. The spiral arm of a galaxy can be seen through the window, casting brilliantly colorful lights across the floor. Sovi doesn't really appreciate the beauty of it, however. Groaning, she gets up and makes her way to the door. Just as she lifts her hand to touch the panel that opens it, she hears a commotion outside. It sounds like blaster fire and shouting. Quickly, she presses herself into a corner, looking around for something she can use as a weapon. Then the door wooshes open, and a person storms inside, blaster rifle in their hands. She’s ready to put her hands up when--

“Sovi!”

“Ardeth?!” Her jaw drops when she recognizes her friend. He still has the beard, minus the flowers, and is wearing some kind of combat gear. “What are you…How did you get here?” she asks and then she’s running to him and he lifts her up in a long hug. She almost starts crying there and then.  
“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Ardeth lets her back down and holds her an arm’s length away, giving her a concerned look.  
“No, I’m not okay. And yes, everything hurts… wait, are you alone?”  
Ardeth grins. “I know I’m awesome, but a one man rescue party would be pretty stupid. Come on, someone’s waiting for you.”

He takes her hand, and they run along the corridor as fast as Sovi’s hurting ribs allow. When they round a corner, they are in some sort of smaller hangar bay. Not as huge as the main one on the Steadfast, but big enough to hold several transporters – one of which seems out of place because it’s parked a bit sideways and has scorch marks from laser weapons all along the front. She can see Bal fiddling with a cable, looking around nervously. Ardeth nods to her and smiles.

“Come on, let’s get out of here. The others are already inside.”

Then there’s a small noise, not as loud as you would expect a shot to be, and red starts blooming from Ardeth’s chest. He looks down in surprise and back up at Sovi. She hears Bal scream as his husband collapses.

Sovi drops to her knees beside Ardeth who is lying on his back, gasping, staring up at the ceiling. There is blood pooling underneath him and Sovi can feel panic and disbelief rising in her.

“No no no, please, no, Ardeth...”

A second shot. A dull noise as a second body collapses to the floor. Bal. His lifeless eyes stare at her, and Sovi wants to scream, but suddenly there isn’t enough air. She’s still holding Ardeth’s hand, trying to reach out to Bal, when Ardeth grows very still and stops gasping. And then stops breathing.

“And where do you think you’re going?”

Sovi freezes in horror.

_No._

There’s no mistaking that voice. She knows it, because she’s heard it every day for the past month. She’s heard it ask things, tell her things, she’s heard it laugh, she’s heard it when they were arguing and when they were talking about beautiful things. _No. No. No._ Something grows cold in her, and she doesn’t want to look up, because she doesn’t want to see. And then she does look up, because she needs to see.

Armitage is holding a blaster rifle. The beard is gone, his uniform is impeccable, not a hair on his head is out of place. Her mind flashes back to when she first messed it up with her hands, telling him it looked better that way.

“Hands up, Sovi.”

She wants to speak, but she can’t. Tears are running down her face now, and she scrambles back on her knees, away from Ardeth’s body, shaking her head.

“What--”  
“I said hands up.”

He doesn’t get any louder, but something in his voice removes all doubt that he is pretending. Sovi lifts her shaking hands, they are red with Ardeth’s blood. Thoughts are racing through her mind, each one more confusing than the next. Armitage smiles at her.

“You should have told them were I went. But you’re utterly useless, as usual.”

Then he fires, and Sovi screams.

The scream echoes through the room, and then she slumps forward, and the metal rings dig into her wrists, and she’s back and gasping for air. She wants to fall to her knees, to curl up into a ball and sob, but she can’t.

“Take your time”, she hears Pryde’s voice, sounding like he’s telling her to catch her breath after returning from a nice workout. “See, this is the interesting thing, I can’t see what you’re seeing while it’s active, but this substance always finds the most important and recent themes in the mind and then works its magic with them. Not that I believe in magic. This is science. But it’s so fascinating to see what it does to people. It’s different every time.”

_It’s not real, it’s not real, they’re making you see things_ , Sovi repeats to herself, but the horror doesn’t fade. It felt too real. Losing Bal and Ardeth is a fresh pain in her heart, like it really happened. And there’s another level of pain for what Armitage – _not real not real_ – just said and did. It makes her want to cry all over again. When she looks up again, Pryde lifts an eyebrow.

“Would you like to tell me something?”  
“I would like to tell you a lot of things”, Sovi says, her voice hoarse. How long has she been screaming? “But none of those are what you want to hear. Listen to me. I don’t know where Hux is. When he entered the coordinates, I looked away. I told him, do not tell me where you’re going. I don’t know how many more times I have to say this. I don’t know!” She shouts the last sentence, as much as her strained vocal cords allow her.

Pryde sighs. “Why are you protecting him, Sovi?”  
She doesn’t answer.

He hands the empty syringe to a Stormtrooper and walks to the window, clasping his hands behind his back.

“I’ve known him since he was a boy. His father was a fellow officer. Believe me when I tell you nothing good will come of you spending any amount of energy on him. Men like him are so filled with shame that they convert it to cruelty and ambition just to stay sane. He will throw you to the wolves without batting an eyelid if it means more power or some kind of advantage to him.” He turns around, back to her, shrugging his shoulders. “I mean, he left you on that planet, knowing we would come there. He isn’t capable of caring about anything else but his personal gain. You don’t have to protect him. He wouldn’t do the same for you.”

Sovi is silent.

There is another syringe.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pryde remains a shitty person, and the Resistance thinks "ownership" of spacecraft is an outdated capitalist concept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, warning for violence.

_Solar charge at 64 percent. Time until full charge: 19 hours 21 minutes 18 seconds.  
Hyperspace jump not recommended until fully charged._

“Come on”, Hux whispers, but it turns out that this ship doesn’t respond to encouraging words. Or threats. Or sulking.

Being alone with his thoughts is even more unnerving than he thought, and he briefly considers firing up the engines just to have something to do, maybe fly around a bit. But that would drain the batteries again and possibly leave him stranded too far away from any sun with no chance of recharging. He has put out a signal on some Resistance channels, but had to keep to mid-range frequencies. Broadcasting throughout the galaxy would empty the batteries to zero in a matter of hours.

Stupid piece of junk. Why is everyone flying the shittiest, oldest rust buckets in the universe? Does nobody own new ships anymore? Are they that expensive? There must be a market demand apart from these used vehicles. These things are death traps and wildly unpractical. Hux finds himself missing some good old First Order transporters – clean, efficient, fast, with more speed in half a power cell than this thing could produce rolling down a hill with a strong tailwind.

He takes out Sovi’s letters again and grabs a pen. Might as well occupy himself with something other than staring at a panel for 19 hours and 21 minutes.

_Question number eight: Would you rather fight one wookie-sized Porg or one hundred porg-sized Wookies? Please give reasons for your answer._

Hux grins and shakes his head. Sovi can oscillate between thoughtful and funny within seconds, and it seems written communication is no exception. It’s one of the things that used to annoy him, but now he finds it endearing. He decides on one hundred porg-sized Wookies and starts to write an explanation, but then he stops. _What the hell are you doing? How are you going to give the answers back to her? You can’t go back. You have to keep moving. Even contacting her might be dangerous, if the First Order are still listening in. The chances of ever seeing her again are close to zero. You’re wasting your time._

He lowers the pen again and stares at the pages. Suddenly, he feels like someone punched him in the stomach.

The part of his mind that is safely locked away recognizes that he misses her like crazy. The rest of him continues to be firmly in denial.

He is saved by a sound from the cockpit, an incoming transmission. “Sprinter class spacecraft currently in orbit around the double star, this is Commander Brea Graff of the Resistance ship Scavenger speaking, please respond.”

Hux drops Sovi’s letters back into his bag and practically dives for the controls. So one of the encrypted channels actually worked! He had used his call sign from his spying days, hoping that it was recent enough for the Resistance to recognize it. It seems he is lucky. He presses a button, and the image of a woman flickers into view. He raises a hand in greeting.

“Scavenger, this is Ge… this is Hux speaking. Thank you for responding. How far away are you?”

The woman smiles. “General! We thought we’d lost you as an ally after not hearing from you for a while. We’re not far, and this thing is pretty fast, we can be at your position in half an hour. Sit tight.”

Half an hour, and then he’s out of here. On a real ship, in his way to relative safety. Hux starts putting more things into his bag, gathering a few of the supplies, and shutting down all unnecessary operations except for the solar charger and comms. Then Graff speaks up again.

“Oh hey, just as a warning, don’t freak out when you see us. We kinda borrowed the Scavenger.”  
“Borrowed?” He raises an eyebrow.  
“Yeah, well, it used to have a different name. We liked Scavenger better.”  
“Because it was named...”  
Commander Graff grins. “The Serpent.”  
Hux groans and runs a hand over his face. “Oh for the love of...you stole a First Order mid-range transporter?!”  
“Borrowed.”  
“Stole.”  
“Okay, fine, stole. You still want us to give you a ride?”  
“Please. And thank you for the warning, I appreciate it.”  
“No problem. I wouldn’t want you firing at us just because you thought we were someone else.”

_As if this thing could fire anything more than loose screws and brake fluid_ , Hux thinks and snorts. Oh well, escaping in a stolen (borrowed) First Order ship with the Resistance just fits with the weird direction his life seems to have taken. Sovi would fall over laughing if she knew.

* * *

There is a soft beeping sound, steady like a heartbeat, as she wakes up. Everything is very bright, and Sovi has to shield her eyes a bit until they have adjusted to the light around her. The beeping seems to come from some kind of monitor. There are soft, clean bandages on her forehead and her wrists, and a sensation in her right hand which she can’t quite place at first. Then she recognizes it: someone is holding her hand. As she turns her head, Armitage comes into view.

“Welcome back”, he says softly. Her heart skips a beat, which the heart monitor actually picks up. He looks more like he looked back on Galinia II, wearing a dark green shirt which she remembers telling him is a good color on him. His eyes are kind, and he smiles at her.  
“Hey”, she croaks. It turns into a cough which makes her ribs hurt. Her throat hurts, too.  
“Take it easy, you’ve had quite the ordeal. Here, drink this.” He lifts a glass of water to her lips, and she is certain she has never tasted anything so wonderful. When the glass is empty, he refills it, and she drinks all of it again. Then she falls back into the pillows with a sigh.  
“Where are we?”  
“A safe place”, he says and kisses her knuckles. Sovi looks around again, but it could be any generic med bay anywhere.  
“How did you find me? Where did you go?” she asks, and Armitage smiles again.  
“Guess.”  
 _Guess?_ Sovi frowns.  
“What? No, tell me. I’m curious.”  
He squeezes her hand.  
“Well, we talked about possible planets, didn’t we?”  
Suddenly, the temperature seems to drop several degress. Sovi tries to keep the desperation from rising in her, but she already knows.  
“Actually”, she says, her voice shaking, “We didn’t. We didn’t talk about possible planets.”

“Oh”, says Armitage, lets go of her hand, and gets up. His voice is without emotion. “That’s a shame.”

When she sees the blaster in his hand, she knows.

This time, the metal rings release her wrists, and she falls to her knees, hugging her midsection, willing herself not to sob. She bites her lips to keep quiet and rocks a bit back and forth until the worst part of the terror she is feeling subsides. Pryde’s boots come into view, and then he crouches down in front of her.

“Sovi, he doesn’t deserve your affection.” It almost sounds sympathetic.

Suddenly, anger flares up in her. She looks up at him, and the desire to launch herself at him and choke him with her bare hands is overwhelming. If only she wasn’t so damn dizzy!

“You know who gets to decide that?”, she snaps, “Me. Not you. So fuck off!”

That should earn her at least another blow with the baton, but Pryde just smiles. It’s even worse when he smiles, Sovi has learned that by now.

They are interrupted by an officer who excuses himself for barging in and hands something to Pryde, whispering in his ear. Pryde stands up and nods, then looks back down at Sovi.

“I’m afraid we’ll have to cut this session short. I have more pressing matters at hand. But, Sovi? You do know you can end this at any time, right? Just tell us the truth, and it stops. It’s very simple, really.” He turns to leave, then adds, “And don’t even think about making something up. If you tell us the wrong planet, we will know. And the place, wherever it is, will be obliterated. And if you tell us another wrong one, that one will be gone too. The galaxy is a big place. How many deaths do you want to be responsible for?” When he walks outside, he hands his baton to the officer, and she can hear him talk to him.  
“No food, minimal water. Seal the windows. Kill the lights. If she’s willing to talk, call me. Until then, let her rot here.”

All remaining Stormtroopers leave the room. The officer who was talking to Pryde comes back to her, punching a code into a panel on the wall as he walks past it. A screen goes up in front of the window, blocking the view. Sovi lifts up her arms in an attempt to protect her head, but the officer anticipates it and instead brings the baton down on her lower back. She falls to her side with a pained cry, unable to move or breathe for a second. The officer looks down at her, then he turns around and leaves. The door shuts, and then the room goes dark. Sovi curls up against the wall and finally gives up on trying to hold it together. It doesn't matter. She's in pain, she's afraid, and she can't protect the people she cares about. She has every right to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uuuugh, can the good ship Scavenger HURRY UP please!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Insane rescue plans are the best.

The Scavenger arrives on time, and a loud CLANK tells Hux that they have docked onto his Sprinter, allowing him to safely cross into the bigger ship via an airlock. There are friendly introductions with the crew who climb down into the Sprinter to get the supply crates, and he moves out of the way so they can pass them up into the ship. Hux doesn’t really need most of the supplies, so it’s probably a good idea to just let the Resistance have them. The crates are filled with food, electronic parts, water purifying tablets, warmer clothes for winter climates, and some datapads with star maps which he has already copied onto his personal one. It’s also not the worst thing if he comes bearing gifts – he’s not exactly the enemy, but showing some good will can’t hurt. 

Commander Graff is a no-nonsense woman in her mid-50s with a firm handshake and two different colored eyes that make Hux slightly uneasy. He’s slowly getting used to the fact that outside of the First Order, people tend to be a bit more… outside the norm, both physically and in their way of living. He used to believe that it was a sign of degeneration, of allowing chaos and disorder, that it needed to be corrected. Funny how one month of living with “chaotic” people could start to change that mindset. (He's still not totally comfortable, but slightly less uneasy than before.)

“General, welcome aboard the Scavenger”, Graff says as they’re both walking towards the bridge. “I’m sure you’re familiar with the layout of this type of starship, so I’ll spare you the long version of the tour. We got your message shortly after we got another from one of our allied planets, so it’s taken us a bit longer to show up. We made a little detour.”

Hux gives her a confused look. “A detour? To pick someone up?”  
“Yes, exactly. And I believe you know each other.”

The first thing that happens when they enter the bridge is that Hux is attacked. There is a loud noise, exactly the kind of noise a cat who has missed their owner would make, and then a blur of ginger launches itself right into his arms. 

“What the--”

Millicent is meowing loudly, climbing onto his shoulders, back into his arms, rubbing her head on his chin and purring so much she’s practically vibrating. She is a big cat, and not exactly a lightweight, so it’s a bit hard to maintain balance while she tries to find a spot on Hux. 

“How…?” He’s holding the cat, looking at Graff, who looks like she’s trying not to laugh.  
“No, the cat didn’t contact us. But she insisted on coming. Three times we tried to get her off the ship before launch, four times she made it back on, and we had to send some crew to the med bay to treat them for scratches. She’s a feisty one.”

“Good girl”, Hux says, and Millicent purrs even louder. That’s when he notices the two familiar faces on the bridge. 

“Bal. Ardeth.”  
He lets Millicent down and walks towards the two men, and suddenly the air is tense. Hux looks around.  
“Where’s Sovi?”

The answer is an impressive right hook from Ardeth which sends Hux staggering backwards. Bal doesn’t even blink and watches as Hux holds his chin, glaring at Ardeth.

“She never. Came back. To the village”, Ardeth says through clenched teeth, stressing each word, his right hand still in a fist. 

“What!?” Cold dread fills Hux. Bal takes over, sounding more afraid than angry. “They took her. She sounded the alarm, we helped everyone get into the underground tunnels, then waited 24 hours. After that, we sent out scouts to check if it was safe to come out. We had kids in there, old people. We couldn’t risk coming out too soon. Sovi never showed up. I flew out to the field from where you launched, nothing. Just the scorch marks of the engines where they had taken off. Searched our house, even the barn, nothing. We thought maybe she had hidden in the forest, so we left on all the lights in the village when it got dark. Still nothing. She’s been missing ever since you left.”

Commander Graff has the decency to signal to the other crew members to give them a bit of space, sensing the tension. Meanwhile, Hux feels like someone has pulled out the rug from under him. That hadn’t been the plan. The plan had been for the First Order to learn that Sovi couldn’t give them any information, maybe have Kylo Ren confirm it, and then leave in frustration. Hux had never allowed himself to think about how low the probability of that plan succeeding actually had been, and now he’s faced with the consequences. The weight of what happened slowly dawns on him, and guilt threatens to swallow him whole. Sovi is not a soldier or a spy, she’s just a person on the fringes of a war she didn’t choose to be in, and he’s thrown her to the wolves. 

“So, as soon as we could, we sent out a signal to any Resistance who might be in the vicinity, which, thank the stars, was the case”, Bal explains while his husband is still shooting daggers at Hux. “It’s not often they come near enough to hear us, so that’s the one piece of good luck we’ve had all week, I guess. And we asked them to take us, to find you and to find Sovi. So here we are.”

Hux runs a hand through his hair, his mind racing. They have a ship which is fast and can detect other First Order ships, and they can approach them without getting fired at because they won’t be recognized as the enemy, as long as they keep quiet. This is good. The only problem is to convince the rest of the people on board to approach a Resurgent-Class Star Destroyer to save one single individual who may or may not be on board. 

“Commander...”  
“We’re not doing this out of the goodness of our hearts, General”, she answers before he can voice his request, “We could actually use your help. And in return, we save your girl. How does that sound?”

“She’s not--” he starts, but Ardeth interrupts him. “Sounds great. We’re in. What do we have to do?”

Any good standing Hux ever had with Ardeth seems to be out the window for the moment, so he keeps his mouth shut. Graff waves them over to a screen and starts to explain as schematics and pictures of a planet pop up. 

“We fly family rescue missions from time to time. The First Order likes to conscript – or rather, kidnap – children to become Stormtroopers, as I’m sure you know.” Hux says nothing. “Anyway, what happens is we get a lead from one of our contacts, fly wherever we think we can intercept them, and try to get as many kids out as possible before they’re shipped off. Sometimes it’s a dozen, sometimes just one. We get them back to their families if possible. If not, we have other contacts who find them new homes.”

“That sounds like quite the operation”, says Bal, sounding impressed.  
“Born out of necessity”, Graff says with a nod, “Both to save as many lives as possible and to stem the flow of new Stormtroopers. We got a message that a small transport is headed to an uninhabited planet for what they call--”

“--special forces testing”, Hux finishes her sentence. The members of the Resistance on the bridge have grim looks on their faces, while Bal and Ardeth look confused. 

“It’s when they take a small group of children, five or six at most, and drop them in a mountainous area for 24 hours to see who has the best survival instincts”, he explains, and the more he talks, the worse he feels. “They leave, come back the next day, and pick up the survivors. They get trained for elite purposes, personal security detail of high-ranking officers or politicians, sniper divisions, things like that.”

The bridge is silent for a moment.

“They’re kids”, Bal says, appalled.  
“Train them while they’re young”, one of the Resistance pilots says bitterly. 

“Now”, Commander Graff continues, “The plan was to attack while they’re on the ground and try to get as many of the kids as possible. But since we now have a bona fide General on board… We could greatly reduce the risk of casualties if you would be willing step back into familiar territory for a bit. What do you say?”

“This is insane”, Ardeth protests.  
“I’ll do it”, Hux says. “I still have my uniform. I'll need a few of your people as well to play along. And a bit of information about the division. I guess they haven’t heard what happened. Pryde would never allow news of my escape to travel to other ships, especially not this far away. So it might actually work. They don’t know I’m no longer part of the inner circle.”  
“They’ll fall over themselves to accommodate you”, Bal says, and it sounds equal parts impressed and disgusted. Hux nods.

“So you’re in? One rescue mission in exchange for another?” Graff looks at Hux and extends her hand. He takes it and shakes it. “Let’s do this.”

“You people are out of your minds”, Ardeth groans, but he follows the others to the conference room. Only Millicent remains on the bridge, making herself comfortable in the captain’s chair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, finally, something resembling a plan! I have a four-day work week ahead of me and then I have three weeks off, so hopefully the next few chapters will come in rapid succession. As always, thank you for your views, kudos and comments, I'm so happy I had the guts to post this. May the Force (and Millicent) be with you. <3


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sovi breaks, and Hux tries not to break character.

Here’s what Sovi thinks she knows by now: the substance in the syringe is designed to work in two ways. One, to make you see things that aren’t really there, created from whatever your mind is juggling with at the time. It doesn’t take the images as they are, though. It takes a good thing, a hopeful thing, and twists it into something violent and hurtful. Two, it makes you less likely to resist interrogation. It makes you want to tell the truth. The problem is that when you neglect the second aspect (by, say, not interrogating because you apparently have bigger fish to fry), the first one takes on a life of its own. It’s as if questioning keeps the more destructive side effects in check.

That would at least explain the flashes of scenes she’s been experiencing. They’re not full-on visions anymore, she can tell they’re not real most of the time. They’re more like nightmares. Very personal, endlessly repeating nightmares. Sometimes it’s just a red energy beam ripping through Galinia II with a horrible sound. It’s over so quickly she doesn’t even have time to scream. Other times it’s more detailed, faces of people she loves, or even flashes of home – the chicken coop, Millicent on the bed in the morning sun, a stream in the forest. She’s losing people in these nightmares, and she’s losing Armitage to the First Order in every single one of them.

Sovi has no idea how long it’s been like that, partly because the room is pitch black and partly because she keeps slipping in and out of consciousness. What she does know is that she won’t be able to take it much longer. They come and bring her water from time to time, but it’s never enough to really make a difference. It’s just about keeping her alive, nothing more.

After an eternity, the door opens, and harsh light streams into the room. Sovi tries to pick herself up and succeeds on the third try, supporting herself by leaning against the wall. “Please”, she says, and her throat is so dry that she has trouble speaking. The Stormtrooper in the door is silent as he walks into the room, his blaster rifle aiming at her the whole time. He puts down a jug of water in front of her and turns to leave. The thought of being in the dark again makes Sovi panic, and she reaches out to hold him back. It’s a mistake, because the Stormtrooper whips around, grabs her by the throat and slams her against the wall, the muzzle of the rifle at her chin.  
“What do you think you’re doing, Rebel bitch?” he snarls at her, and Sovi is certain this is how she dies.

“Get General Pryde.” She is struggling to breathe. “Please.”  
“Oh, so someone’s ready to talk? Took you long enough.”  
He lets go of her and turns to leave. In the light from the corridor that streams into the room, Sovi counts the empty water jugs on the floor. There are four of them.

* * *

The uniform is crisp and neat, just as it was when he had packed into his bag before leaving Galinia II. Hux remembers briefly contemplating to burn it, but somehow he hadn’t been ready to do it. It had just been sitting in the back of the closet, like a dark thing hiding in the back of his mind, this whole time. Most days, he had completely forgotten about it. He has no idea why he packed it, but now he’s thankful because this will go so much easier if he looks the part.

He shaves and somehow avoids meeting his eyes in the mirror the whole time. Then he takes a deep breath and puts the uniform on, going through the motions like hundreds of times before, willing himself not to think too much. Someone from the crew had come in earlier and repaired the damage from the blaster on the shirt and the trouser leg, and it actually looks brand new. They have found a coat in one of the officer’s quarters that’s his size. Hux can no longer avoid looking at himself in the mirror and he finds that his heart is racing. He takes a deep breath, takes a look for exactly two seconds, and then he’s out the door.

There are a few Resistance members dressed as Stormtroopers and one dressed as an officer who will all accompany him. They have a short briefing in the conference room where Hux gives them a few more details about these kinds of operations and they go over the script again. Then they’re off to the Scavenger’s hangar bay where they board a smaller transporter that will bring them to the planet’s surface.

“Do we know anything about the kids?” Sasha Takan, a pilot now posing as a Stormtrooper says to the man who will be playing Hux’ second in command. He nods. “They’re all from the same place, two of them seem to be siblings. Ages five through nine. Five kids in total, boys and girls. Anything else we should know, General?”

Hux nods. “You’ve done this more often than me. But these children often are taken directly from their homes to these tests, they have no time to process what just happened to them. That’s actually an advantage because they haven’t learned to fear Stormtroopers yet. Or us.” He looks over to the man in the officer’s uniform. “The others will expect me to do all the talking, so I apologize in advance.”

“Oh come on, you’re enjoying this”, the “officer” grins, but quickly stops when he notices Hux’ look.  
“Sorry”, he murmurs.  
“I’d appreciate it if you'd shut your mouth, _Captain_ ”, Hux says, his voice icy. Suddenly it feels like lines are being blurred.

The rest of the way down to the planet’s surface is awkward silence, and a very small part of Hux enjoys the fact that the man who made the joke seems to be very, very uncomfortable.

When they land, the other transporter is already there, and Hux can see a bunch of children huddled together outside, trying to shield themselves from the wind. Snowflakes are swirling around, although there's not much snow on the ground yet. But it looks to be a cold night. Stormtroopers approach the children, weapons drawn, and start to disperse them away from the landing site, forcing them to run away from the path and into a barren landscape of rocks and moss. Most of the children are crying, one is trying to get back to the safety of the transporter. Two of them, a boy and an older girl, refuse to let go of each other. One of the Stormtroopers raises his fist, and the girl tries to shield the boy by throwing herself over him.

“Captain!” Hux’ voice carries over the wind and the commotion, and the officer at the door of the other transporter turns around, surprise on his face. When he sees Hux, his eyes go wide, and he stands a little straighter and salutes.  
“General Hux, sir! We, uh, we didn’t… this is a surprise.”  
“And it seems you’re not really equipped to deal with surprises”, Hux answers, his hands clasped behind his back, as he walks over. The officer swallows nervously. “Are you always this disorganized, Captain?” Hux adds, his voice perfectly calm. It’s a threat nonetheless.

“No sir, we…” The man looks around while the Stormtroopers try to stand in formation. The children are almost all gone from view, and Hux prays they don’t run too far. It’s a miracle this charade has worked so far. He hopes he can get these people to leave as soon as possible so the others can start getting the kids to safety. It’s freezing, and the sun is already beginning to set.

He looks back at the Captain, who seems to be sweating in spite of the weather. “Well?”

“Sir, we were getting ready to do the special forces testing. I apologize for not being prepared for your arrival, we didn’t know.”

The man’s voice shakes, and Hux realizes: the officer is afraid of him. Something old and ugly stirs inside him, and there it is: the exhilarating feeling of power over another human being. It fits like an old glove, and part of him recoils at the ease with which he has slipped back into his old persona.

“It’s a good thing we’re here then, because this is a disgrace, Captain. It’s like farmers sending their animals to pasture. This is how you select elite soldiers? I want you to take your men and leave. We’ll take it from here.”  
“But, Sir, protocol for these tests says--”  
Hux takes a step towards the Captain who is trying hard not to flinch too obviously.  
“You’re going to explain protocol to me?” It sounds almost friendly, and the officer starts to shake.  
“No sir. Absolutely not, sir.”  
“Good. Because that would be totally out of line, wouldn’t it, Captain?”  
“Yes sir.”  
Hux turns around again and hears the man exhale slowly behind his back. His eyes meet those of his own Stormtroopers, and he motions for them to spread out. Then he turns back around.  
“You’re still here.”

The Captain whips around and yells at his men to get into the transporter. Hux wants to relax, but he wills himself not to move a muscle until every single Stormtrooper has disappeared behind that door. The transporter launches and quickly gains altitude until it accelerates beyond the clouds.

It’s silent for a moment, and then the Resistance members take their helmets off. Sasha Takan is the first to speak.

“Holy. Shit.”

Hux finally allows himself to move. He motions to the rock formation where he’s sure two of the kids are hiding.

“Time for a rescue.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, tomorrow is enough.

Rounding up the children proves more difficult than Hux had anticipated because most of them are hiding. Everyone takes their Stormtrooper helmets off and starts calling for them, but only one girl, the youngest of the group, actually trusts them enough to come to them right away. The two siblings are next, and they are the most difficult to calm down, the girl attacking them, throwing rocks, screaming at the top of her lungs, trying to protect her little brother. Another boy has run all the way to the edge of the canyon they're in and starts to climb the rocky cliff in an attempt to get away. Sasha is the one who finally convinces him to come down from there, and he almost falls from a ten foot height in his panic. She gathers him up in her arms as he’s sobbing.

“Where’s the last one?” someone asks. The weather is getting worse now, gusts of icy wind chilling them to the bone. The sun has set, and the only light is coming from inside their transporter.

“Get the rest of them inside where it’s warm”, Hux shouts over the wind. Almost all of the children are wearing light linen summer clothes, their lips already blue from the cold. He looks around, but the landscape is fast disappearing under a thin layer of snow. Then he sees it; a movement behind one of the low bushes.

“Sasha! Do we know the names?” He points to the bushes, and Sasha snaps her fingers.  
“Uh, that’s gotta be… dammit, who is missing, the Keova’s boy… Jouren! Hey, Jouren! It’s okay, we’re not gonna hurt you! Come out, okay? We’ll get you home!”

Nothing. The bush moves a bit, but it could be the wind.

“Jouren, come on, it’s freezing and I really want to be inside where it’s warm!” Sasha tries again. Then, there’s more movement, and suddenly a boy darts from the bushes and runs to one of the bigger boulders that are all around the area, hiding again.

“Come oooon”, Sasha sighs, and Hux waves her over so he doesn’t have to shout. “Get inside. I’ll get him.”  
“You sure?”  
“Tell them to start the engines, we’ll be right there.”  
“I’ll put the kettle on”, she says and grins before she runs back to the transporter.

Hux takes a few careful steps toward the big boulder where Jouren is hiding. When he steps around it, he’s prepared for a chase or at least a struggle, but nothing happens. At his feet, a boy is cowering on the ground, his teeth chattering in the cold. He has his arms wrapped around himself, trying to find a bit of warmth.

“Jouren?”  
The boy looks up. He has green eyes, ginger hair, and he looks absolutely terrified. Hux is way, way out of his depth right now. “It’s alright, we’re here to help. We’ve come to take you home. Your parents are waiting for you.” For a second, nothing happens. Then Jouren launches himself at Hux, clinging to him, almost sending him staggering backwards. “Alright”, he groans as he picks the boy up, “Let’s get you out of here.”

In the transporter, the kids are being wrapped in blankets and fed hot soup. Two of them are crying, the older ones are just staring at the ground. Sasha is running around, making sure every one has something to hold on to for the launch. The transporter struggles against the rising storm until they clear the atmosphere and everything calms down.

Hux has tried to pry Jouren’s arms from around his waist for the past twenty minutes and has just about given up when the boy finally lets go of him. He still hasn’t said a word or touched the soup he’s been offered, but he’s still shivering, so Hux takes off his coat and puts it around the boy’s shoulders. Jouren all but disappears in the coat, wrapping it tighter around himself. Then he pulls his feet up, curls up on the bench and closes his eyes, falling asleep almost immediately. Hux makes sure the coat is also under Jouren’s head as a makeshift pillow, then he leans back with a sigh and closes his eyes for a minute.

“Do you have children, General?”  
Sasha has sat down on the other side of the bench, the sleeping kid between them.

Hux winces. “I hope not.”

Truth is, he doesn’t know. None of his relationships – not that there have been many, and certainly not in the past five years – ever got to the point where you would deliberately talk about it. And even though accidents happen, he doubts any of his partners would have told him about it. There had been that one senator who really, really wanted to marry him, back when he was Captain, but he had turned her down. They’d known each other for six months at that point, three of which he had been away. And she had hated kids.

“You?” he turns the question back to Sasha. She shakes her head.

“Made a decision not to be a parent. My folks, they… they’re not good people. Gave me and my sisters a hard time growing up. They learned it from their folks, I guess. There are different ways to break the cycle of abuse, and mine was to not play the game. So I just save the kids. Leave the actual parenting to the people who are good at it.” She grins, and Hux nods in understanding. Then she adjusts the coat around Jouren and looks at him again.  
“He would have died tonight, cold and alone on the mountain, or in training when his more ambitious teammates gang up on him, or in his first battle, or on some stupid senseless mission. Now, he gets to see his folks again. He gets to be a kid, play in the mud, break unimportant shit, frustrate his parents who will love him anyway. He gets to grow up loved. A lot of suffering could be prevented if more kids grew up loved.”

Hux looks down at the sleeping boy.  
“What if the war comes to him? You can’t keep them safe forever.”  
Sasha shakes her head and gives him a sad smile.  
“Forever is not a good business to be in. I’m in the business of tomorrow. And the day after that, and the day after that. Sometimes, tomorrow is enough.”

For a while, there’s a comfortable silence between them, until she gives him a sideways glance.

“This woman we’re saving…”  
“Sovi.”  
“Sovi. Is she family?”  
Hux shakes his head. “No. She saved my life, we crashed on a planet, I spent a month there with her and…”  
“You in love with her?”

It’s very, very important to check that they’re still on course back to the Scavenger. Right now. Hux clears his throat.

“I'm needed in the cockpit. Excuse me.”

Sasha leans back, mouths an “Ooookay” to no one in particular and grins.

* * *

When Pryde arrives, he’s holding a datapad in his hand and it seems like he got interrupted doing something very important.

“So you’re ready to talk?” He doesn’t even look up from the datapad, just stands there, waiting. Sovi gets up, one hand on the wall to steady herself.

“I just… Please, I’ve told you the truth. Hux didn’t tell me where he was going. I begged him not to, because of this right here. And even if I knew, he’d be long gone from there by now, wouldn’t he? He has a ship, he could have easily made another hyperspace jump by now and be somewhere else.”

Pryde finally looks at her, slowly lowering the datapad. There’s anger in his eyes, and Sovi can see that he has his baton in his hand again. She flinches and takes a step back.  
“Please”, she whispers, and hates herself for how much it sounds like begging.  
“Not good enough, Sovi. I’m very disappointed. You’re wasting my time, but you know what? I won’t waste yours any longer. We’ll confirm this, and then I’ll put you out of your misery.”

Before she can ask what he means, someone else walks into the room. The person is wearing a mask, and she notices that Pryde actually tries to stay as far away from him as possible.

“This is why you called me?” the man says to Pryde, and it sounds annoyed.  
“We thought she might have valuable information, Supreme Leader”, Pryde says, and Sovi knows who this is: Kylo Ren.  
“Does she look like she might have valuable information?” Even though the mask distorts his voice, Sovi can hear the sarcasm.

“I--” she starts, and that’s about as far as she gets before the man thrusts out his arm, his hand inches from her face. Something _forces_ itself inside her head, and she wants to scream, but can’t.

_Don’t resist  
Don’t resist  
Don’t resist_

She repeats it to herself, but it all happens so fast. There’s another mind inside her head, and he’s rummaging around her memories and her knowledge, like someone searching for something in an old drawer, and it's physically painful. Sovi is suddenly terrified he might find something after all, some piece of information she has forgotten or hidden from herself. As soon as she thinks it, the pain gets worse, and she grits her teeth, her hands clenched into fists. Everything is slowed down, sounds are muffled, and she feels like she’s under water. She can’t move. Then, after what feels like an eternity--

“She’s telling the truth.” Ren’s voice.  
“What?” Pryde does not sound happy.  
“She doesn’t know anything. A few contacts in the Resistance, but nothing we don’t already know. Nothing worth pursuing at this crucial time.”

_Okay, now that we’ve established that, can you please get the fuck out of my head--_

The answer is a mental pushback that throws her across the floor. Her back hits one of the empty water jugs which breaks under her, the sharp edges digging into her hip. With a groan, Sovi pushes herself back up. And then he’s not in her thoughts anymore, but in her _feelings_ , picking them up and prying them apart to take a closer look. At least that’s what it feels like, and Sovi is so unprepared that she can’t even breathe properly. There are flashes of emotions, and Armitage’s face--

“Interesting.”

It stops, and she’s on the ground, gasping for air.

“You’ll never see him again.”, Ren says, and then him and Pryde and everyone else are gone and the door closes again.

Only it doesn’t, not properly, because one of the shards of the broken jug has slid across the floor. It has stopped right in the doorframe and has become wedged there, preventing the door from sliding all the way shut. There’s a tiny sliver of light coming through the opening which might just be big enough for a person to stick their fingers through and pull.

Sovi stares at the light. And suddenly she has the urge to prove Kylo Ren very, very wrong.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can't just give up and die in deep space when you have unfinished business, can you?

It takes her a while to work up the courage to actually make her way to the door. There could be a guard outside, or patrols in the corridor. But ever since Pryde left after the second syringe, Sovi had the feeling something bigger was going on. The ship seems to be on high alert, and some of the guards that have come to check on her over the past day seem almost distracted.

She has no idea what time it is or how long she’s been here. She also can’t really afford to wait until it’s night (whatever that means on a spaceship that’s operating on a round the clock schedule) because she’s not getting any better or stronger. The longer she waits, the worse her chances are. Not that they are great in the first place. But one thing she does know: when Pryde said he would put her out of her misery, he didn’t mean let her go. The only reason she’s alive right now is because something is going on that requires the attention of almost everyone on board.

Just getting up from the floor takes more effort than she thought. Her ribs hurt way worse than before, and there’s a particularly worrying pain near her kidneys where the officer had hit her with the baton. The thirst is something she’s almost gotten used to, but it doesn’t help her headache or her blurry vision that comes and goes. When she finally stands, she has to bite her lip from crying out with pain. Pressing a hand against her side, she looks around and takes the biggest shard from the broken jar she can find. It’s a useless weapon against blasters and Stormtrooper armor, but she feels better with it in her hand.

The door is pretty thick, designed to form a perfect seal if shut properly. Right now, thanks to luck, a piece of broken ceramic and impossible odds, there is a tiny space where Sovi can put her fingers through. She actually gets a fairly good grip right away and pulls. At first, nothing happens, but then the hydraulic mechanism releases and the door slides back into the opening position. It’s so fast that Sovi almost falls over. She dives behind the doorframe in case someone has heard or seen her, but the corridor is deserted. _Now or never._

The design of the corridors on this ship is wildly impractical, with lots of columns, alcoves, and an almost triangular form. Sovi, however, is grateful for it, because it provides good opportunities to hide and wait when a patrol passes. For the most part though, every area is empty. She realizes she has no idea where on the Steadfast she is. She vaguely remembers Armitage telling her where to go when she got him out of his cell, but every single corner she turns looks the same as the last. She also has no idea what to look for or where to go. She can’t just waltz into one of the hangars and steal a ship. One, she wouldn't get very far before they shoot her and two, she doesn’t know how to fly any First Order spacecraft except for the escape pods--

_The escape pods._

They are all over the ship because in an emergency, you don’t have time to walk two miles of corridor to your designated meeting area. She just needs to locate the nearest one, hope that Armitage’s personal code still works, and she’s off.

Until they realize an escape pod has just launched and fire a laser cannon at it. But she’ll cross that bridge when she gets to it.

* * *

On board the Scavenger, the children are brought to the med bay. Hux learns that another transporter will pick them up once they are in range of their home planet, but it’s quite a long way from their position. To his great relief, Commander Graff honors her part of their deal and activates the sensors to search for any First Order ships in the vicinity. He stays on the bridge, pacing back and forth until an annoyed look from Graff makes him stand a bit to the side. It’s there Ardeth and Bal find him. As he sees them approach, he steels himself for whatever they’re planning to throw at him.

“Listen--” Bal starts, at the same time that Ardeth clears his throat. They look at each other before Bal continues, “We just want to let you know we want to help. We’re not fighters, but if there’s anything we can do...”  
“I don’t know, Ardeth seems to be pretty good at hand to hand combat”, Hux counters, which earns him an eyeroll from Ardeth.  
“You deserved it”, he growls. Hux shrugs.  
“I guess I did.”  
“I’m sorry. It’s just… she’s our best friend. We love her, and she’s out there, alone, and… I got angry. I’m scared for her”, Ardeth adds, and suddenly he looks like he’s about to cry.  
“Ardeth, I’m scared for her too. Believe me when I say I know that if it hadn’t been for me, none of this would have happened. I will never forgive myself if we don’t get her back, and I will do everything I can to save her. I owe her that much. I owe her a lot more, actually.”  
“Yeah you do, you bastard”, Ardeth mumbles. Then he takes a deep breath and extends his hand to Hux.  
“Peace? I guess we want the same thing, to save Sovi.”  
Hux takes his hand and shakes it firmly. “We do, Ardeth. Thank you.” Then he turns to Bal. “You talked him into this, didn’t you?”  
Bal grins. “I hate to see him try to hold a grudge. He tries so hard, but he just can’t do it. I thought I’d cut it short to spare us the drama.”

Before Hux can answer, a shout from a technician from the other end of the bridge makes him look up.

“Commander, sensors detect a Resurgent-Class ship up ahead. First Order.”  
Hux runs to the screens just as the visual pops up. “It’s the Steadfast”, he says, and Commander Graff nods.  
“Have they detected us?”  
“Yes ma’am, but they just sent a generic greeting. It seems they think we’re still the Serpent. In fact, I got a transmission with instructions to follow them as soon as they go to battle stations.”  
Hux frowns. “Why would they go to battle stations when there are no enemy ships around? Where are they going?”  
The technician shakes his head. “I don’t know, the transmission mentioned a planet called Exegol, but that’s gotta be a mistake. It’s not in the database, and I’ve never heard of it. Maybe an error in the coding?”

Graff crosses her arms. “Well, whatever it is, if they go to hyperspace, we lose them. Let’s hope it’s just a drill.”  
“It’s not a drill”, Hux says darkly. Something tells him they’re running out of time.

* * *

The good thing, the one good thing about the First Order, as far as Sovi is concerned, is that they love, well, order. Everything is neatly labeled and signposted, and that is the reason she finds a door which leads to a little room with several small alcoves, each one housing an escape pod. They’re smaller than the one she used with Armitage, and apparently you have to lie down in them. Sovi swallows, ignores the pain in her ribs, and searches her brain for the code that activates a pod. Thank the stars she has a good memory for numbers. There is a small panel on the side where she can enter it, and her hands are shaking as she punches in the 10 digits.

_Come on..._

The panel ignites with an angry red light and displays the letters “INVALID CODE”.

“No”, she whispers, squeezes her eyes shut and forces herself to concentrate. Did she make a mistake? Was there a 7 at the end? Or was it a 1? How many times can she enter the wrong code before she triggers an alarm? Two more times she tries, two more times the panel glows red. Sovi can feel herself growing desperate. Her heart is pounding, her fingers are cold, and she is constantly on alert for any sounds from outside. Breathing actually hurts now, and she tries to ignore it, because that's never a good sign. She can't handle any more bad news right now. _Okay, not a 7, not a 1._ She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and tries one more time, this time with a 2.

The panel flashes green, and the pod opens with a loud hiss that actually makes her say “Ssshhh!” out loud. Then she has to clamp her hand in front of her mouth to keep from laughing and crying with relief. There it is, her ticket out of here. Well, her ticket to space, at least – this one doesn’t look as sophisticated as the one they escaped in the last time. Maybe it doesn’t have enough juice to find a planet, maybe she’ll just float in nothingness until she’s hit by debris. Still, better than rotting here or getting shot by Pryde. If she goes, at least she goes on her own terms.

Then she shakes herself. What a silly thought. Dying alone in the cold of space is not heroic. It’s pretty stupid actually, considering she’s just decided that Kylo Ren doesn’t know the first thing about her and that she will prove him wrong. She needs to see Ardeth and Bal again. And Millicent for that matter. Also, she has unfinished business (a lot of unfinished business) with a certain General. All those things require her staying alive.

“Nope, not dying today. Got things to do”, she murmurs to herself and searches the wall for a control panel to get the pod launched. It doesn’t take her long to find it, and then a section behind the pod retracts and the blackness of space comes into view. A force field holds back the air from escaping into the vacuum, glowing around the edges. Sovi climbs into the pod. Just as she wants to lie down and close it, a deafening sound pierces through the ship, making her jump. It’s an alarm.

“ALL TROOPS TO THEIR DESIGNATED AREAS. PREPARE FOR HYPERSPACE JUMP.”

“No no no, are you KIDDING me!”

Now, she decides, is a good time to panic. Hyperspace means she can’t eject the pod. If she does it when they’re in mid-jump, the dynamics will tear the pod apart. If she somehow survives ejecting in the middle of hyperspace, the pod will end up at some random point in the universe (with her luck, in a black hole). If she waits until after the jump, Armitage and the others will have no way of knowing where she went. The only chance she has is to eject right now and hope she's not too late.

She curses under her breath, lies down in the pod, punches the button that closes it, and activates the launcher.

* * *

“Commander, the Steadfast’s engines are firing up! Do we follow them?”

Graff turns to Hux. “How sure are we she’s on that ship, General?”  
“Very. Pryde likes to keep all operations concentrated in one area. He wouldn’t have brought her somewhere else for questioning. She’s there. We need to--”

And then there’s a flash, and the Steadfast is gone.

“We’ve lost the signal”, the technician says, and it sounds like he can’t believe it. “Those fuckers didn’t even wait for us! Where did--”

Hux walks past everyone else to the window at the front of the bridge and stares out to the place where a Star Destroyer has just vanished.

_She’s gone._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I probably should apologize for yet another cliffhanger, but those are just way too much fun. :D


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, coming back and *being* back don't happen at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I look up the length of the Steadfast, decide where the escape pod would eject, calculate where it would be relative to the Scavenger, and convert the distance from metric to imperial? You bet your ass I did. (It doesn't matter that it came to exactly one mile, I did the math even though I didn't have to, because that's the level of extra I am XD )

The next thing Sovi sees is a blur of lights as the pod ejects from the ship. She holds her breath and squeezes her eyes shut, fighting against the nausea as the pod spins violently. Pain radiates up from her ribs as she is thrown around with the pod. There is an unbelievably bright flash to her right, burning itself to the insides of her eyelids, and she screams as the pod is thrown back by the force of the acceleration of the Steadfast. Finally, the stabilizers and the inertial dampener kick in, and the sickening motions stop. Then it’s silent. When she dares to open her eyes again, she can see only blackness. There are burns across the little window of the pod, and the material has turned opaque.

She’s alive.

She’s made it out, barely, before the Steadfast jumped into hyperspace. She can’t see anything and the pod doesn’t seem to pick up any course or coordinates, but she’s alive. Sovi concentrates on her breathing, forcing herself to get some air into her lungs despite the pain and the panic. It doesn’t help that she is essentially blind, the blackness of space and the blackened window making it impossible to see anything. She can feel her heart starting to beat faster, a familiar fear rising in her. Dark, enclosed spaces. She can’t move except lift her arms a few inches until they touch the walls of the pod. This is actually worse than the cell where they kept her. At least in there, she could stand up.

“Okay, calm down”, she whispers to herself, but it’s not really working. A few inches of material separate her from the freezing vacuum of space, and there’s nothing she can do except lie there and wait. Life support seems to be nominal, she’s getting oxygen, but it still feels like she can’t breathe properly. Her hands find the long broken piece of ceramic she brought with her and which has actually made it into the pod. It’s completely useless, but it’s the only thing she can hold on to right now. It digs into her skin as her grip tightens around it, helping her not lose her mind.

She tries to imagine the forest back home. Tall, old trees, the sunlight filtering through them, a lake just about visible at the end of the path. The smell of the earth after the rain, the song of a hundred different species of birds, the warmth of the sun on a summer day. Maybe she’ll jump into the lake later, swim around, float on her back, watch the clouds above her float too. And then Ardeth will fire up a spectacular barbecue, the meat seasoned with herbs and spices from his garden--

Something hits the pod dead on, and Sovi screams. There is no way of knowing what it was or if there’s any damage, and the lovely forest image in her mind implodes on itself. She can feel herself starting to hyperventilate. So much for her heroic return. “I’m sorry”, she says to no one and everyone she loves and starts to cry.

* * *

There have been a lot of times in Hux’ life when there was a lot of darkness, but it’s been a long time since he’s felt such absolute horror and hopelessness. He’s lost her. They will never find the Steadfast again. He’s failed her. The one good thing in his life is gone.

Then the technician mumbles a “what the hell?” and starts pushing some buttons before he turns to Commander Graff.

“Ma’am, I’m picking up a life sign. One mile ahead. Roughly the place where they jumped into hyperspace.”  
Graff narrows her eyes at the window. “I don’t see anything. How small is that ship?”

Hux is hearing all of this as if through a layer of fabric, muffled, but still it’s enough to make him move. With a few steps, he’s behind the technician, looking at his screen.

“Can you get a visual? Or analyze the energy signature?”  
“Yeah sure, hang on… there it is. Oh, it’s an escape pod! Tiny thing. Explains why we didn’t see it.”

A single escape pod. Containing probably one person. Hux notices his hands are shaking.

Commander Graff isn’t very impressed, however. She shakes her head and turns to the technician.  
“I bet it’s a trap. Fire a missile at it.”

“No!” Hux steps between them, forcing Graff to look at him. “Commander, please. Seal the hangar, we’ll watch over the monitors. They’re not hiding an army in an escape pod. If it’s a bomb, we’ll depressurize the hangar and send it back into space. If it goes off, it will only damage the sealed off area. And if...” He doesn’t dare to finish the sentence because finishing that sentence means to have hope. He doesn’t know if he’s allowed hope.

Graff holds his gaze for a moment, then she nods. “Alright. But you’re paying for the damage to my ship if that bomb goes off, General.”

They gather around one of the monitors as the technician maneuvers the Scavenger on a course which will cross the trajectory of the pod. Ardeth grabs Bal’s hand and squeezes it. The engines fire one, two times, and the momentum is enough to carry them towards the pod. Graff has her hand on a button which controls the hangar doors and the force field that separates it from the outside.

The pod is tiny, an older version that’s meant for one person. The model has been nicknamed “the coffin” by Stormtroopers, because that’s what it looks like. The usually see-through part of the top is blackened, like it got damaged somehow. The technician waits until the pod has floated to the open hangar doors, then he activates one of the grapplers in the hangar. It clamps onto the pod, pulls it inside and slowly puts it on the floor in the middle of the hangar. There is a bit of steam as the pressure adjusts before the lid opens. Hux sees Graff’s hand twitch over the button. Quickly, he looks back to the monitor. Somebody has zoomed in, and now they can see it’s indeed a person crawling out of it. Hux’s breath catches for a second.

“Sovi.”

She falls to the ground, her face hidden from the cameras.

“Open that door!” Hux shouts, and then he’s running from the bridge and in the direction of the hangar, too quick for the others to react.

It’s a good thing he knows the layout of this type of ship, because he’s in no condition to be aware of his surroundings or ask for directions. Finally, he rounds the last corner, just as the door opens to give him access to the hangar. He draws a shaky breath when he sees that Sovi is still moving.

She looks bad. Her hair is tangled and matted with something dark, her face bruised and pale, her lips cracked. Her clothes – the same ones she was wearing when he left her on Galinia II – are torn at the knees, dirty, and there are dark patches on her shirt which he’s pretty sure are bloodstains. She seems to have trouble getting up because she’s still on her knees after falling out of the pod. Breathing heavily, she leans against the hull, her eyes closed. She must have heard him approach, though, because she freezes and slowly turns around. Her eyes grow wide, and there is something desperate in her look.

“No...”

She scrambles backwards along the pod, one hand against the metal, the other raised as if in self defense. “Don’t shoot!” She sounds tired, defeated, and Hux suddenly remembers he’s still in uniform. _Shit._

“Sovi, it’s me. It’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you.”  
She frantically shakes her head, tears running down her cheeks, and he’s sure she would try to make a run if she was physically able.  
“I’m not falling for that. Not again. I’m done. Please, I’m _done_.”

Hux’ heart sinks. He has an idea what they did to her, because they’ve done it to other people before. They made her see things that weren’t real, and judging from her reaction, those visions involved him. And now he’s standing here, looking for all intents and purposes like a First Order general, in the hangar of a First Order ship...  
Sounds and shouting tell him the others have caught up with him, but he signals to them to stay back. Then he kneels down in front of Sovi, close enough to touch her, but he doesn’t dare just yet.

Sovi makes a small, scared sound, and then there’s something sharp in her hand that looks like a shard of glass. She holds it out like a weapon, but her arm is shaking so much that she almost drops it. Hux raises his hands, slowly, and tries to meet her eyes, but she’s looking around as if waiting for an attack.

“Sovi. Please. You’re out. This is a safe place. The Resistance is here. Bal and Ardeth are here too, back there, see?” He points to the far side of the hangar where the very anxious Karimms are wringing their hands, being held back by the others. Sovi stops, blinking away the tears. She doesn’t lower her makeshift weapon, though. Something in her look hardens.

“Really,” she then says, bitterness in her voice, “I got out? That’s new. How did I get out this time? Did I use the Force? Space fairies? Just luck?” She practically spits the last word.

Hux tries to give her a reassuring smile even though his heart is breaking for her. “Well, I would guess it’s because you are amazing and resourceful and… actually I have no idea. Tell me once we get you treated and get some food in you, okay?”

Sovi doesn’t answer and just keeps staring at the dark fabric of his uniform instead of looking him in the eyes. She’s still shaking like a leaf. When he moves, she jerks her weapon towards him. “Stay the hell away from me!”

“Sovi...” Hux doesn’t know what to do. His mind is racing, trying to think of something, anything that would make her believe him, when he remembers how this kind of torture works. “This is not like the other times, is it?” he finally asks while she stares at him like a wild, cornered animal. “You always got out really easily, or someone saved you, and it all went smoothly until it didn’t. And it was always short. Not hours. Only minutes, until something terrible happened. How long since you ran, Sovi?”

“What?” she breathes, the sharp edge of her weapon slowly sinking down as she lowers her hand.

“The Steadfast is 1.8 miles long. You can’t get out of your cell, walk the length of the ship, find the escape pods and get out here in five minutes. It’s been longer, hasn’t it? And when I was there, we didn’t talk much, did we? Whatever I did, I always did it right away."

Sovi stares at him. Then, very softly, she asks, “I got out?”

“You did”, he says, his eyes pleading with her to believe him, and slowly, very slowly, her hand opens. The broken piece of ceramic clatters to the ground. She looks at her palm for a moment, then she lifts it again to touch his arm.

“You’re real.” It sounds a little less doubtful than before.  
“I am.”  
“You’re not...him.”  
He has a suspicion what she means. “Not anymore.”

That’s not true, not really, but he wants to believe it as much as she does, and she needs it right now. No, he’s not him anymore. Some part of that person, maybe not even a small part, will always be him. But right now, Sovi doesn’t need nuances. She needs assurance.

“Tell me this is real,” she says, her voice breaking, desperate.  
“It is. This is real, I’m real, I promise.”  
“Prove it.”

Gods, she’s so afraid. He hesitates for a moment. Then he says, only loud enough for her to hear, “Something only the real me would know: Ardeth is in the first stages of what I think will be a four week mourning period because I shaved the beard.”

There is a moment of silence, and then the sound she makes is something between a laugh and a sob. Her grip around his sleeve tightens, and she lifts her head to look at him.

“Hi”, she says, smiling through her tears.  
“Hi”, he answers and feels like he’s drowning in her eyes.

She pulls herself up to close the gap between them, and then she’s kissing him and not letting go, and maybe Hux forgets his surroundings for a few seconds. Eventually, he wraps his arms around her and she clings to him, sobbing. They’re both sitting on the floor now and he holds her close, his hands rubbing circles on her back, rocking her. Finally, someone clears their throat at the other end of the hangar, which makes him remember they’re not alone.

“Can you walk?” He gently detangles himself from her arms and takes her hands.  
“Yeah, I think so”, she answers and lets him pull her up. It’s a full two seconds before her legs give out under her. Hux catches her before she hits the ground.  
“Alright, that’s a no.”  
“No, I’m okay, let me try, I’ve made it all this way--”  
“Hey.” He smiles at her. “You’ve made it all this way, yes. Now let me help you so I don’t feel totally useless. I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

She looks at him before she slumps against him with a frustrated “Fine.”. Hux picks her up in his arms before walking back to the others. Ardeth runs toward them and takes Sovi’s hand, kissing the top of her head while Bal is rubbbing her arm, tears in his yes. They make their way to the med bay, some members of the bridge crew in tow.

* * *

Senn Cursa has been a doctor for 66 years, before any of these young whippersnappers even were born, thank you very much, and if it’s one thing Senn hates it’s people _hovering_. People always hover. Next to their loved ones, outside of Senn’s med bay, inside the med bay where they have no business hovering. Senn gets that next of kin are concerned, but do they have to HOVER all the time?

(Not, like, actually hover. None of them are defying gravity. Senn means the kind of lingering and loitering, just standing around being useless, being in the way. If they actually hovered, Senn would lose his mind.)

And now his med bay is crowded with Resistance members, three men hovering and an injured woman (who is actually pretty alert and capable of speaking for herself, if the men would just shut up for a minute), and Senn is losing his patience. He reaches up and pulls his long dreads out of his face, getting into triage mode, before he starts shouting orders at the useless hoverers.

“You! Put her down on that stretcher. Everybody else, shut up and give me space!”

The woman grits her teeth in pain and grabs the hand of the man who set her down. Senn steps up to the stretcher and gives her a reassuring smile. “Hello. I’m Senn, I’m a doctor. Can you tell me what happened?”

The woman starts to speak, then stops again. “Um, a lot”, she finally says, and it sounds like she was trying to make a joke, but the tears are already forming. Eventually she covers her eyes with her other hand, and Senn notices it’s shaking.

“Alright, everybody out”, he barks, and the Resistance immediately obeys, except for the guy who had been carrying her. “That means you too! Out! I’ll call you when I’m done here.”  
“I’m not going anywhere”, the man retorts, still holding the woman’s hand, and Senn closes his eyes for a second, praying for restraint. Then, thankfully, the other two men who were with him grab him and practically drag him outside, assuring him that the woman will be fine.

“Sorry about that”, he says to his patient. “Now, let me take a look at you.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I could have showed you all the scars at the start  
> But that was always the most difficult part  
> See, I’m in love with how your soul’s a mix of chaos and art  
> and how you never try to keep them apart

Hux always thought that people pacing back and forth in front of a door were a cliché, but apparently he’s very capable of being that exact cliché. It’s absurd, he knows Sovi is in good hands and being treated well, and it’s only been 30 minutes, but he feels like he’s going crazy with worry. He needs to see her. He’s lost her twice already. Every minute is one too many.

Bal, ever the practical thinker, goes in search of “water or something” and returns with three flasks of something that’s definitely not water. They drink simultaneously, each one of them emptying their flask in one go. Ardeth has a coughing fit.

“What’s taking them so long”, he grumbles after he recovers, and Hux couldn’t agree more.

After another ten minutes, Senn Cursa pokes his head out.

“You still here? Of course you are. Listen, it’s gonna be a bit longer. We had to check for internal bleeding-- relax, man, she’s fine! She’s awake, and talking, and as far as I can tell there is nothing that I can’t handle with the stuff we’ve got on board. But I want to run some more tests. So you guys go and get something to eat and I’ll call you when I’m done here, alright?”  
“We’re not hungry”, Bal says, and Senn rolls his eyes.  
“I don’t care. Get lost.”  
The door closes with a bang, and Hux sighs. “What a charming individual.”  
“I think he’s right”, Ardeth says and rubs his eyes. “Let’s get some food. Or more alcohol.”

They find a small kitchen area where they raid the cupboards. Hux knows there’s at least one mess hall on board, but it’s a long way from the infirmary, and he isn’t willing to add even more time before he sees Sovi again by having to walk all the way there. So they sit and eat in silence, the minutes ticking by. Eventually, the door opens and Senn walks in.

“Man, when I told you to get lost, I didn’t mean find the most remote place on this thing! I’ve been looking for you all over”, he complains and sighs when he sees their nervous faces. “So, basically: she’ll live. You guys were freaking out way more than she was, by the way. She’ll have to take it easy for a couple of weeks, but no permanent damage.”

“Are you sure?” Hux is already half out of his seat. Senn rolls his eyes at him.

“Yes I’m sure, but don’t mind me, I’m only a medical professional with five doctorates in three different species, I mean, what the hell do I know? Anyway. She insisted on a shower, wouldn’t take no for an answer. I told Sasha to watch her in case she keels over, and after asking if she’s alright every ten seconds, she threw the soap at Sasha and told her to knock it off. So yeah, she’ll be okay.” He seems to sense Hux’ doubt, because he fixes his purple eyes on him. “I don’t know the whole story, but from what she’s told me, your girl told Allegiant General Pryde of the First Order to go fuck himself and lived to tell the tale. She’s a fucking badass. So stop thinking she’ll crumble to dust at any minute.”

“When can I see her?” Hux is trying very hard not to sound too impatient. Senn just shrugs.  
“Go. She’s all yours.”

Hux is almost out the door when he suddenly hears Ardeth clear his throat. He turns around and sees him grimace.  
“Hux. Before you go back in… I think you should probably change.”  
For a moment, he’s confused what Ardeth means, and then he remembers. The uniform. He’s still wearing the goddamn uniform.  
“You’re right.”  
Then he notices that both of them are still sitting there, making no effort to follow him to the med bay. Hux frowns. “Aren’t you coming?”  
Bal exchanges a glance with his husband. “I think you guys need some time alone. We’ll catch up later.”

* * *

Hux is back at the med bay in ten minutes, wearing something more practical and decidely _not_ up to First Order standards. Taking a deep breath, he hesitates for a moment, then he enters.

The stretcher is empty, and there aren’t any occupied beds as far as he can see. Before he can panic, Sasha emerges from another room. She lifts her hands and gives him two thumbs up.  
“Don’t worry, we just went in search of someone who’s roughly her size so she could have some fresh clothes. Mismatched grey scrubs from the med bay suck. Nothing wrong with a little fashion. She’s in the mess hall. I told her if she didn’t eat at least two sandwiches, I’d kick her ass. Go get her.”

“Thank you”, Hux breathes, and then he’s out the door again, almost breaking into a run.

The mess hall is empty except for one person at a corner table – Sovi. She’s asleep, her head resting on her arms, her hair still damp from the shower. The clothes she got from one of Sasha’s comrades are clean, some loose fitting trousers and a colorful tunic that is wrapped and tied at the side with a ribbon. There are still bruises on her face and on her wrists, but the blood is gone. An empty plate sits in front of her, a half-eaten piece of fruit and an empty water bottle next to it. Hux sits down across from her and gently touches her hand. Sovi stirs and looks up. When she sees him, she smiles, much to Hux’ relief.

“Hey you”, she says quietly.  
“Hello”, he answers and smiles back at her. “You scared me. I went to the med bay and you were gone.”  
“I know. I’m sorry, but I really, really needed a shower. And Sasha insisted to get me some better clothes”, she adds and squeezes his hand.  
“I’m never leaving you out of my sight again, I hope you know that.” He takes a deep breath. “I’ve missed you.”  
“I’ve missed you too. A lot.”

Hux still doesn’t let go of her hand. “Senn says you’re going to be alright. I get the feeling you left quite the impression on him.”  
Sovi gives him a lopsided grin. “I might have left out the part with the hysterical crying and being sure I was going to die. But the part with Pryde is true. Also, I think Kylo Ren knows that I think he’s a pathetic piece of space trash. At least that’s what I was trying to get across while he was taking a walk in my head.”  
Hux shakes his head, smiling. Part of him wishes he could have been there to witness it. Then Sovi lets go of his hand to stretch, and as she straightens, she winces a bit. “Ow.”  
He frowns, immediately concerned. “Are you alright?”  
“Yeah, just a little sore.” She breathes out slowly before closing her eyes.  
He’s not really convinced and leans a bit closer to take a look at her.  
“I thought you got treatment? Why are you still...”  
“Armitage” she interrupts him, “I’m fine.”  
“You’re not fine. You’re in pain.”

Sovi sighs. “The ship’s resources are limited, they’ve been flying back to back missions for the past six months and everything in the med bay is rationed, including painkillers and tissue repair. The kids you picked up need it more than me. I just need a bit of sleep, is all.”

Hux thinks for a moment, then he nods and holds out his hand. “Let’s go.” She looks up at him, confused. Hux points at their surroundings. “This ship holds 500 crew when it’s not being borrowed by the Resistance. There are less than fifty people on board at the moment. Plenty of sleeping quarters.”

“Right.” She hesitates, fiddles with her clothes, looks everywhere but at him. _Something’s wrong._  
“Sovi?”  
“I…” She rubs a hand over her face. “I’m... not good with dark rooms at the moment.”  
It dawns on him what she means. “Oh.”  
“Yeah. The mess hall is nice and bright and has this huge window.”

Dammit, he didn’t really think about that. The Steadfast houses prisoners either in windowless cells or by sealing off the room from all outside access. He’s experienced it too, but only for half a day until Sovi got him out. He can’t imagine what must feel like for longer periods of time.  
“Well, you can’t sleep at the table.”  
“Watch me”, she grumbles. Hux sighs and takes her hands, gently pulling her up from the bench.

“The higher ranking officers’ quarters all have windows, you stubborn woman. In fact, a whole wall, floor to ceiling. Fantastic views. You have a place to sleep.”

“Officers’ quarters? I thought you didn’t want to pull rank anymore?”, she asks and smiles again.  
“I’ll pull rank for that view any time. Also, Millicent insisted on a bigger bed.”  
Sovi raises her eyebrows. “Did she now?”  
“Oh yes. Vehemently.”  
“Uh-huh.” She sounds amused. “What a cunning cat.”

* * *

The view is indeed breathtaking. Sovi spends some time just standing front of the window, her hands pressed against the glass, looking at one of the most beautiful nebulas in the universe, closing her eyes from time to time. Millicent is sleeping in one of the chairs, occasionally opening one eye to make sure both of her humans are still there. Hux busies himself with getting some water, programming the window screen to stay open for the night and the smaller bedside lamps to stay on low light. When he walks past Sovi again, she takes his hand to stop him.

“Hey, come here.”

He steps up to the window, turning to her. She looks to the nebula again, chewing her lip.

“So. Uh... listen. We have to stop kissing when we’re in mortal danger and then pretending it didn’t happen. Until it happens again. I really don’t like that. --No, wait!” She waves her hands and squeezes her eyes shut before shaking her head a little. “Ugh, that came out wrong. I meant the mortal danger part. And the pretending it didn’t happen part. Those are the parts I don’t like. I want those to stop.”

“But not the kissing part”, Hux says, and it sounds a bit like he’s not sure.

“Not that part, no. I don’t want that to stop. I like that part. A lot.” She stresses the last two words, and then she actually waggles her eyebrows.

_Oh._

She takes his hand again and pulls him closer, putting her arms around his waist and resting her chin on his chest to look up at him. “For someone so intelligent, you can be really dense sometimes.”  
He looks down at her and grins. “Are you trying to be charming?”  
“Is it working?”  
“Absolutely not.”  
“Yeah, I figured.” After a pause, she adds, “Senn called me a fucking badass, by the way.”  
“That’s because you are”, Hux agrees.  
“Are you flirting with me?”  
“Absolutely.”

They just look at each other for a moment before Sovi tilts her head.  
“Well?”  
“Well?”  
She snorts. “You gonna kiss me or not?”

He does, of course he does. It’s a slower version of their first kiss, and this time it’s not because he’s not thinking straight or because the threat of losing her hangs over him. He does it because she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him and because every minute without her is dark and dull. He does it because she feels like softness and sunlight and warmth, and every broken and sharp edge in him heals a bit more. He does it because she’s the wonderful kind of chaos he doesn’t really mind anymore, and what’s been missing all this time.

He also does it because she’s a damn good kisser, and he likes the happy little noise she makes when he backs her up against the window.

Then her hands are under his shirt, and the atmosphere shifts, and Millicent decides the humans are moving too much and leaves. Sovi is the one who gets them to the bed where the backs of Hux’ knees collide with the mattress, and then she’s on top of him, untying the knot that holds her tunic together, only stopping to kiss him again. He sits up, holding her in his lap, resting his forehead against hers for a moment.  
“I’m so glad to have you back”, he says.  
“Thanks for coming back for me”, she whispers back. His fingers are caressing her skin, carefully avoiding the more prominent bruises. Suddenly she flinches and freezes, a pained look on her face. Hux looks at her, concerned, his hands dropping to her hips.  
“Sovi?”  
“Shit. Ow. I, uh… forgot to mention the two broken ribs.”  
“Two broken…what? Why didn’t you say something!”

She takes a deep but careful breath before she looks at him again, her hands at his wrists, holding them in place so he can’t pull away.

“I want you”, she says, slowly and deliberately, and it sounds like she really needs him to understand that, “I want this. I want to make you stop talking and thinking for a while. But...” And then she winces again. “Earlier, I couldn’t even brush my teeth without needing a break to rest. Everything hurts. Even my _hair_ hurts. And I want to be able to ignore it, but it’s a solid eight on the pain scale at the moment.”

“You should have told me”, Hux protests. He feels terrible.  
“I had hoped the one shot of pain medication Senn was able to give me would last a bit longer. Turns out it wears off after three hours.”  
“Dammit.”  
“Exactly.”

He silently curses Pryde and Kylo Ren and the whole damn First Order and hopes they burn in every single hell available. He can also feel his own exhaustion, physical and emotional, and maybe Sovi is right. He tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear. “I don’t think we’d have much fun under the circumstances.”  
Sovi nods. “Yeah. As much as I want to jump your bones right now… not gonna happen.”  
“Alright. Postponed.”  
“Postponed, not cancelled”, she clarifies, kisses him, and climbs off him before she gingerly lets herself sink down into the pillows with a sigh and another small “ouch”.  
“I have to say, you are very endearing when you pout like that”, Hux remarks with a grin, looking down at her.  
“I’m not pouting”, she pouts.  
“It’s quite dark in here, but I’m pretty sure you are.”  
“Am not.”  
“You are.”  
“Armitage--”

It sounds like a threat, she’s armed with a pillow, and he knows when to shut up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As much as I wanted them to have some fun, a certain level of realism was required. (That, and I don't write out sex scenes because I'm terrible at them, haha!) But I hope there's at least a bit of fluff to make you go "awww", dear reader. And we're nearing the end of our story. Thanks for sticking with me so far!


	20. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you  
> I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you  
> I've been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night  
> And now I see daylight, I only see daylight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Justice is getting what you deserve.  
> Mercy is not getting what you deserve.  
> Grace is getting what you don’t deserve.

Two days later, news break of the defeat of the First Order at Exegol. At first, nobody can really believe it, but then more news start pouring in: uprisings in systems across the galaxy – Naboo, Corellia, Jakku, Coruscant, a few more. It’s like this defeat is the catalyst for everyone to remember that they are more, they are not alone, and they have a chance to win. They learn of the deaths of Pryde and Kylo Ren, and maybe having a drink to that is in bad taste, but they don’t really care.

Commander Graff is quick to get the children home to their families and then bring Bal, Ardeth, Sovi and Hux back to Galinia II. It’s not over yet, the Resistance has work to do: make sure the last remnants of the enemy don’t try anything desperate as a last resort, help rebuild, decide how to form a new government that isn’t just a copy of the New Republic.

The journey to Galinia II takes a couple days, and Hux uses the time to give the Resistance as much information as he can, naming names and strategies, pointing out possible problems with planets still fiercely loyal to the First Order. He has access to his credits again, and the first thing he does is make sure that Galinia II gets an update to their communications and alarm systems. It’s a sound investment, as far as he’s concerned.

Sovi is healing well, even though Senn insists that she take it easy as long as she’s on board. Hux tries his best not to hover too much.

And then there’s the awkward moment when they land, and he’s not sure if they’ll arrest him. But nothing of the sort happens. Commander Graff pretends to ignore his question if she’ll alert the leadership of the Resistance. Nobody seems interested in a trial or punishment for the moment. It’s as if everyone is tired of vengeance and violence. Hux isn’t quite sure what to make of it, and he doubts that the higher rankings of the Resistance share that sentiment (especially since General Dameron isn’t his biggest fan), but for now, he’s not complaining. Maybe, some day, there’ll be a trial. He’s not looking forward to it, but he doesn’t want to run from it either. A lot of people reassure him that they will speak in his favor, and apparently the first thing the revolution did is abolish the death penalty, so that’s a relief.

They spend a night at the Karimms’ house. The next morning, Sovi pulls Bal outside for a talk.

“Hey, so, I was thinking… We could use a holiday”, she says, and Bal smiles.  
“Do you want to get away from us?”  
“Well, as much as _you_ need a break from _us_ , I would think. It’s not that I don’t love it here – you know I do – but I think we all need a bit more room to breathe. There’s this great little village up north, at the ocean. They have tree houses.”  
“I know. We spent our honeymoon there”, Bal says and starts to grin. “Great view and still absolute privacy.” He says the last part in a singsong voice, sounding like an advertisement, and Sovi rolls her eyes.

“Come on, it’s not like Armitage and I haven’t been roommates all this time. The ony difference is that there’s one big bed instead of--”  
Bal raises one perfectly groomed eyebrow. “ _Girl._ ”  
Her mouth drops and she crosses her arms. “Don’t you ‘girl’ me, Bal Karimm! I’m an adult!”  
“And you’re free to do adult things”, he laughs. “I’m not the boss of you. Go, have fun.”  
“You’re the worst”, she huffs, and gives him a playful shove.

* * *

The tree houses are breathtaking. They’re elegant, tall, with a sweeping view of the forest (which is more like a jungle in this part of Galinia) and just a glimpse of the ocean through the dark greens that surround them. The houses are pretty far apart, and the sleeping area can be sectioned off with impossibly long white courtains that are made of a silk-like material. Every tree house has a small natural pool at its base, fed by the river that runs through the forest. Guests are strongly discouraged to jump into the water from the platforms, but it’s just a few feet, too inviting, and Sovi isn’t very good with rules anyway. She’s not sure why anyone would want to leave. It’s really a wonderful place for a little getaway. And boy, did they both need to get away for a while.

Not everything is perfect. There are the nightmares, for both of them. They fight. Hux wants to keep up with the news from the rest of the galaxy as the First Order continues to fall and disband, she doesn’t. He’s still someone who likes to plan things and control things, and she’s still someone who likes to just float along and see what happens. They’re still getting to know each other, not just in the bedroom. But it’s clear to both of them that none of this is a reason to call it quits. They’re both too stubbornly in love for that. (Admitting _that_ and saying it out loud takes Hux some time, and when he finally does, Sovi punches the air in triumph. He chases her all the way to the river for that.)

And there’s the good things, too. For example, Sovi in a dress. He’s never seen her in a dress before, and when she walks in one evening in just a simple knee-length one, barefoot, her hair loose, his mouth goes dry. And once again, he asks himself how in the world he deserves any of this.

* * *

“You know what I just realized?” he asks her one evening as they’re sitting at the edge of the platform, their feet dangling over the edge, “I never did my homework. The questions you put into my bag. I never wrote the answers.”  
Sovi smiles. “How about you tell me the answers? One every night?”  
He gives her a look. “You put down thirty questions.”  
“I know”, she grins.  
“Goodness, woman, how long do you plan on staying here? Should we apply for residence?”

Sovi laughs and shakes her head. “I have no idea. Let’s see what happens. Maybe we stay a few more nights and then go back, or take a ship and explore the galaxy a bit, or maybe stay here until we’re both sick of it.” Then she turns a bit more serious and takes his hand. “I know you like plans, but let’s not plan for forever. Forever is a big word. I’m just asking for tomorrow.”

Technically, tomorrow is a bigger word than forever, but Hux is wise enough not to say it because that’s when Sovi usually starts rolling her eyes at him. So instead, he nods. “I see Sasha gave you the same speech she gave me, about the business of forever and tomorrow. She’s a wise woman. Tomorrow sounds good.”  
“And the day after that.”  
“And the day after that”, he agrees before he kisses her.

Later that night, when the sun sets, Sovi is lying on the bed, looking out to the forest and the ocean beyond. She’s gotten better with her reluctance to sleep in enclosed spaces, but she still enjoys the openness of the tree house. Hux walks past her and stops, noticing the sunset and the brilliant colors it casts over the sky. When he turns around, he realizes he’s standing in her way, blocking the view.

“Oh, sorry.” he takes a step aside.  
“No, no, it’s fine”, Sovi says from the bed and waves her hand. “Stay right there.”  
Confused, he looks behind him and back to her. “I thought you wanted to admire the view?”  
She grins and crosses her arms behind her head. “Oh, believe me, I am.”

~ F I N ~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy smokes, it's over. What a ride. I never thought I'd actually write a whole 20-chapter story out of a little idea I had. It's been so much fun, and it actually gave me a boost for my own writing. I'm prone to self-doubt, thinking that nothing I write is any good. Seeing that you guys enjoyed this story, gave me feedback and kudos, really encouraged me. My biggest thanks to X_FabulousFeels_X for commenting on every chapter. I loved reading your reactions, and it really kept me in check not to wait too long between chapters. Thank you for your support and your love for this story.


End file.
